HALE

HALE Album Cover

To all HALE fans out there, here's a favor for you hehehe LYRICS galore! Thanks to Sherwin for the goodies, the best ka friend!

PS: I plan to intently listen to the songs & to give them a piece of my mind. Hehehe a cd review ha, feeling!

TAKE
I've gone away and went through hell and backI never was and will againAll the tears i've held insidewhy it had to be this long
and i have failed to see
i would've wanted you goneah.. but it's just too soonall the times i kept you outsidewhy you had to be so strong
and i have failed to seethese dreams they haunt me back
praise fateim coming home...
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BROKEN SONNET
And now I concede On the night of this fifteenth song Of melancholy, of melancholy And now I will admit in this fourth line That I love you, that I love you.
I don’t care what they say I don’t care what they do ‘cause tonight I’ll leave my fears behind ‘cause tonight I’ll be right at your side.
The clock on the tv says 8:39 pm It’s the same, it’s the same And in this next line I’ll say it all over again That I love you, that I love you.
I don’t care what they say I don’t care what they do ‘cause tonight I’ll leave my fears behind ‘cause tonight I’ll be right at your side.
Lie down right next to me Lie down right next to me And I will never let go Will never let go.
I’ll leave my fears behind ‘cause tonight I’ll be right at your side.
Lie down right next to me Lie down right next to me And i will never let go Will never let go.
But still I see the tears from your eyes Maybe I’m just not the one for you.
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BLUE SKY
When do stars fade their light?Does the moon and the sun make it rightFor you the world maybeLike an endless storm chasing a mystery
Is there hate in your heart?Does your body drop and tell you to stopLoving you or loving meWhen it all falls down you just sing with me
Coz there's a blue sky waiting tomorrowWaiting tomorrow shining and shimmeringA blue sky waiting tomorrowWaiting tomorrowMaybe it's all we need
Oh don't you wash away that smileYou just look out the window and see the lightIt's beautiful to be aliveIt's wonderful to live a life
The sun is sure to shineFor you and me for everyoneSo don't be sad it's just the startOf a new beginning in your life
Rain will keep on pouringSome things you can't controlAnd while the sun seems far and hard to holdIt will unfold
There will always be a blue skyA blue sky waiting tomorrow
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THE DAY YOU SAID GOODNIGHT
Take me as you are, Push me off the road the sadness, I need this time to be with you I'm freezing in the sun; I'm burning in the rain The silence; I'm screaming, Calling out your name. And i do reside in your light Put out the fire with me and find Yeah you'll lose the side of your circles That's what i'll do if we say goodbye.
To be is all i gotta be And all that i see And all that i need is time To me, the life you gave me The day you said goodnight.
The calmness in your face That i see through the night The warmth of your light is pressing unto us You didn't ask me why I never would have known oblivion is falling down. And i do reside in your light Put out the fire with me and find Yeah you'll lose the side of your circles That's what i'll do if we say goodbye.
To be is all i gotta be And all that i see And all that i need is time To me the life you gave me The day you said goodnight.
If you could only know me like your prayers at night Then everything between you and me will be all Right.
To be is all i gotta be And all that i see And all that i need is time To me the life you gave me The day you said goodnight.
She's already taken, She's already taken She's already taken me She's already taken, She's already taken She's already taken me. The day you said goodnight
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WISHING
Landscapes in the wildUpon a shore of a sea open wideThe great escape from yor wifeShe's the best mistake of your life
Always starts when you cryNever ends with a smileAll you've said was a big, big lie
On the wings of love we falterA day with you a big disasterSoon forever will be overHow i wish
Never has a sweet novemberAll i had was a dark octoberFor a while i wanted to dieBut i said why oh why
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HERE TONIGHT
So long to you my loveDon't be afraid to run awayI know you'll be okayJust take your time to find
But i need you here tonightI need you here insideI need you here tonightI really, really need you here tonight
Made up my mind on thisToo late for me to hold you backMaybe to short or dumbTo cry for you but i will anyway
It's all my faultTo feel this way for you that dayI know i am and i willThough it's wrong,so wrong
Cause i need you here tonightI need you here insideI need you here tonightI really, really need you here
I need you, i need youI need you here insideI need you i need youI really, really need you
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KAHIT PA
muling lalapitang liwanag sa paligidat ang tinigna sa akin nagsasabing
hindi mapipigil ng mundopapatunayan ang pangako
dahil kailangan kakailangang pakita natin tayo'y ibaat kahit pahindi papapigil sa mundoat sa umagang daratinglahat ay aking kakayaninat kahit ikaw lang at ako
huwag mong isipinang mga harang sa atinat ang ihip ng hangin ay darating
bigla lng ang titigil ang mundoat ang lahat ay maglalaho
hindi ko man hawak ang panahonmaging ang ikot ng buhaybasta't ikaw at ikaw pa rinikaw at ikaw parin
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LIFE SUPPORT
sarcastic smiles and fake helloswe try to hide but alwaysleave an open door behindto escape from reality
why are you crying?why are you crying?
it felt so sure but we said nowe're throwing lies at someonewe don't know, we don't knowfrom this reality
why cant we risk our livesfor something that we can't denywe try to run from somethingwe don't know, we don't knowis this reality?
why are you crying?
i feel so sorryi feel so sorryfor me..
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UNDERNEATH THE WAVES
the stars beneath the sky they tell me you're a secret and everytime i wake up in the morning rain is falling down on me I feel free
you caught me by surprise I ask you to believe me without a lie we'll never have to say or feel we're sorry dont say we're sorry soon you'll see
I'm learning I'm learning you now
Stars fading free falling into you
this time I'm sure what I'm looking for and that's what I want you to know And I won't ever let you go
Underneath the waves I can feel you underneath the waves
I'm learning I'm learning you now
Stars fading falling into you
this time I'm sure what I'm looking for and that's what I want you to know And I won't ever let you go
It's all been said and done to me I know it Just let me have a chance to prove my cause and i don't know what lies ahead for us in any road I'll let you come my way
And I'm ready for you now be ready for me now Show me love
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RUNAWAY
talked to you tonight to sort things out the right way we used to be when you were still here with me
I wanted you to know if you have loved me so then why didn't you let me know 'cause I didn't wanna let you go
so why don't you just runaway from here 'cause I don't want you to get hurt by me this way you loved me to the point where I was lost but then I couldn't catch you there right there
so just runaway runaway from here won't you runaway runaway from here
and I will never know if we could ever go the way that we should be.
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BENT DOWN
my conscience is hurting my earbut im happy as long as you arei hide if i can, i don't care where i standas long as you are bent down
you never said what does it meanim speaking the same words againbut i will if you have to fallim here if you want me at alljust as long as you are bent down
she feelsim laid out for everything hereshe keepsme away from this song of mine
i don't know why this won't stopcause maybe it just won't stopbut it will if i hear you callthough maybe you won't care at all
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KUNG WALA KA
Natapos na ang lahat nandito pa rin ako hetong nakatulala sa mundo
hindi mo maiisip hindi mo makikita ang mga pangarap ko para sa iyo
oh.. hindi ko maisip kung wala ka oh.. sa buhay ko
nariyan ka pa ba hindi ka na matanaw kung merong madadaanang pasulong
sundan mo ang paghimig na lulan na aking pinagtanto sundan mo ang paghimig ko

He Said

"I may not look happy its cos I'm overjoyed, all because of you"

Music to my ears, I'm glad your back. Looking forward to see more of you.

Mosaics

I am so addicted with this new discovery that I have hehehe the mosaics ;-) galing kase hehehe, expect more mosaics on this page.

More Sagada Pics

more Sagada pics - from Mark & Marco's album

Wish I could go back to that serene place soon. The Sagada adventure is yet the most memorable & fun experience I had, I was able to achieve a lot of things in that sacred place. I was able to overcome fear, the trek was really tiring but it was worth it. I was able to contemplate on what I really want in life, people I wanna be with... the friends I have. The place made me appreciate all the things I have in life including the worst experience this world has offered me. That weekend getaway was the best one I had in years. It was like learning the ABCs all over again without much difficulty. Everything was carefully laid down with a purpose.

I was able to bond with my great friends & have met new ones whom I'll treasure for life.

Here's to sagadaGANG! Cheers to Mark, Luchie, Marco, Arma, Gina & Kitch! Love you guys!

first attempt at the mosaic, hehehe may signatures pa 

Vanilla Sky

I am done singing Kwarto by Sugarfree – literally & figuratively speaking. There are times when you want to retrieve things from the trash box, perhaps it’s the pride & the ego that stops you from doing so but still thank God for self-control and I want to say that I’m proud of myself for listening to my inner self (ows, am I really?).

Song of the Moment: Sleeps with Butterflies (hardy harhar! I’m now turned into a social butterfly?)

“I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night
This girl only sleeps with butterflies
With butterflies
So go on and fly then boy”

Oh well, I’m done with shooing people away… as I have read just this weekend, “Men invariably resorted to overt male chauvinism once a relationship is established and the woman is emotionally committed”. Thank you Dr. Robin Cook. Well said.

Anyway what’s my point, nada I just want to talk talk & talk like I knew I would. But hey I know people who tell me that I am not good with words & I totally agree like geez, who are we kidding today? I don’t even make sense.

Life, there are 6 billion people in the world & counting but what you do (or say for that matter) can still make a difference. As Sofia Serrano said to David Ames, Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around. And if you are asking what went wrong, nothing went wrong, it was just what it should be… the downside of your highest high & the deepest lowest low you can have but take note that you can always get up.

So… magpapaalam na sayo ang aking kwarto. On second thought, what is the door invented for? You can always knock ;-)

And He's Back

He is, back like he always do, come back home.

You guys may have notice the letters I posted sometime ago... the letters of Ben & Carrie. Well goodnews (as if there are other people who will benefit from this aside from moi), Ben & the other Ben are back. Ben is back in a sort of odd manner, still he's silent, speechless & voiceless. On the other hand, the other Ben is talking... yep really talking. This is what freedom can do to one.

Segue, this is where I am good at hehehe.
NEWSFLASH...
I realized that I can be a maniac material afterall. Thanks to Jenny & Don for refreshing my memory hehehe. Not that it's a good thing, I just remembered that I can also be a victim to that although not prone to it. Thank heavens!

SHOUTOUTS
To my friend Carolina, enjoy the NCAA later (it's almost the 25th)... kahit bad ka with your comments & all I love you still the same. And besides you're right that is not fit to it... prentending to fit is not good hehehe, makes us bad tuloy.
Marco, thanks for the cds...pinabilib mo ko sa effort & all with the log book. You're really something man. So pano? Crystal cave na tayo? Yey!
Armabella (hate me for this, I know you can't & won't hehehe) TY in advance for the eye patch...the best ka!
Jenny...pagaling ka sa sore eyes kuno kuno mo & happy anniv to you & Lolo.
Nice chatting with you Luchie!
Lastly, congratulations & best wishes to Ate Eryl & Paul!

I am writing this while listening to the new wave song "Pretty in Pink"... made me reminisce about Molly Ringwauld and the 80s hits (this would include Ione Skye, John Cusack, Andrew McCartney, Eric Stoltz & Mary Suart Matheson and the cheezy lines like "break his heart or I'll break your face"). Oh life! I miss the days when I watch Melrose Place and it was my favorite show then - especially Billy & Alison - without having to realize that that show is pretty complicated. I wish I'm a kid again.

300th

My viewers now totals to 263 (June 24, 2005 11:02 pm)... it's nice that some people find the time to read my ramblings. Although most of you are the same people who read these stuffs about my boring life, it made me feel good that I can still amuse some of you. With this I am giving away a prize to the 300th visitor. At end of this page is the site meter, check it & see if you're the lucky 300th invader (hehehe don't worry access is granted). Send me a holler if you're it.

Ramblings on a Sunny Sunday Afternoon

"tinatawag kita, sinusuyo kita
di mo man marinig, di mo man madama
o kay tagal din kitang mamahalin"
Burnout, Sugarfree

"I have loved many but spurned on true love"
Rotha, The Valkyries by Paulo Coelho


One of the world's most important laws: Every movement needs a pause at times because people wind up killing what they love most.

"Love comes to rest only when they are near death"

"If all else fail would be there to love me, when all else fail would be brave to see right through me?"
Kitchie Nadal, Same Ground

Happy Father's Day Pop

posing with the world's greatest dad

Cheers to all the hardworking fathers in the world. Being a Dad is a hardest yet most fulfilling full time job in the world.

Papa, for the countless times you have believed in me, for the never ending love and support, for the understanding and comfort that you showered me... my heartfelt thanks.

For the food, the clothes and other material things that I have failed to thank you for when I was young. For the education, those learned from school and most especially for those I have learned directly from you. For the sacrifices, sleepless nights that you have given on my behalf. For the gentle words, the spirit of goodness and trust...my heartfelt thanks.

For the encouragement that it is okay to fail and to fall cos we have you to back us up. For the touching stories of your life, for the corage you showed and never regretting anything because you have us. Thank you very much.

It is a cliche' but I would never ever exchange the life I had, the person I become because of such a wonderful parent like you. Mama is so lucky & so are we. And if I will be asked to pick that father I want to have, it will always be you.

Greetings to the other Dads who deserve the "World's Most Greatest Dad" plaque: My Tyong Roger, my Kuya Jim, my friend Rolly and the Dads of all my good friends. And to those who misses their Dads, I feel for you.

I love you Papa!

Fete, Peat & Defeat

A conversation between friends:

“Are you going to the Fete?”
“No way, it’ll just be full of suckers of free concerts, people who doesn’t really know what music is”

Joan’s dictionary: “puro jologs”… tama ba?

I like the idea of Fete dela Musique, the concept of bringing together various musicians inspired by several genres and artists before them… bringing the listeners together, people from all walks of life… from sosyals to jologs… from authentic musical patrons to (let me borrow the word) posers. But does the jologs & posers truly exists in that event?

A lot of us wouldn’t let themselves be caught dead singing side by side with a jologs person wearing black & chains while watching a sikat pop artist or band. Why? Is it because our understanding and passion for music is extremely superior compared to them? Who are we kidding? We’re lying to ourselves. We are so into our own image that we neglected to look more closely inside us. What music really means to us and what it does to our lives. There are times when we feel truly proud cos we know certain songs & facts that other people don’t. We see ourselves as genuine music virtuoso because we know artists that other people doesn’t know. Artists & songs that you don’t regularly hear on the radio or see on TV. With such knowledge it still doesn’t give us authority amongst others. For those who want to be cool, they hated RNB… for instance Paolo Santos. This guy who can really play the guitar is now rich for his craft. People hate him because for some his “music” is uncool… let me say, how many albums do you have Paolo & they’re actually Gold Albums? How many concerts did you already have? And what? You are the front act to an international artist? Whow, so uncool right?

The point here is judging not to discriminate. Judging not to criticize and judging not to ridicule. I will call a person a faker if he is a self-professed music lover yet he cannot appreciate classical music, if he or she doesn’t even know that Beethoven is not just a dog in movies and that the lullaby we know was actually a classical tune. If you’re choice of songs are very limited to one genre or mood only shut up. You’re not a music lover. You’re the faker. Look closely inside & reflect on what you really think about the songs. If you cannot appreciate DC Talk cos the rhythm is very pop I feel sorry for you, they happen to be a good Christian band. Words, the lyrics are more important it is the weapon that strikes us in our hearts. It is also important that the song takes you places. For reggae to be reggae, it is not just making you feel relaxed, makes you want to sway to the rhythm. It is not just about Bob. In my own experience, reggae makes me feel like I’m dancing atop a cloud. Yes, that’s reggae for me… the effect even minus the weed.

I was once talking to this super famous band drummer (this happened years ago), we were both laughing when he started telling stories about songs he really like, his band is super cool on the alternative scene, emo punk kung minsan but they established a certain genre in the 90s… he admitted he loves rap music. Imagine? We laughed at the same time for different reasons, I thought it was something weird and for him it was a cut on his ego to be admitting what he just confessed. I would not be surprised if he has a Linkin Park CD somewhere in his room and if it was one of his most treasured possession. So you see, it’s not cool to pretend you’re cool. Just be yourself, that’s it.

In the end, there are no jologs in the music world. If those people that others call as posers can afford to go to the bars where artists play I don’t think Fete will be successful and there's no running away or segregating oneself against them. Because the focus & intention of bringing people together in harmony should soar high above than concentrating on the classes of people present. And to those na minamata, cool lang okay para walang trouble? Don’t mind those people, mas may depth ka kesa sa kanila.

We should learn to embrace the fact that to be able to appreciate music one must open his or her heart to all aspect present. Be it classical to jazz to dance and ballad…don’t ever think that one is supreme over the other. Lucky for you if you know indie tracks, lucky for you if you know Nelly & Pharrel Williams. And you are lucky too if you know that Dave is from Nirvana before Foo Fighters and that Sting is actually a person & not a band.

This is not about one person, this for all of us. This is not just about you & what you said last Friday, you know I love you. This is something that we all should consider pondering about. You may be a groupie not just female even male groupie for that matter, you may be a band-aid (calling Penny Lane) or just a plain supporter. Save the music, save yourselves from such uncalled for painful comments. Don't let differences defeat music's purpose.

Ta-da! Hehehe here comes what I think about some songs that really made impact on me:

Clocks by Coldplay … who wouldn’t know them? Even my mother ata basta banggitin mo lang si Gwyneth hehehe. When I close my eyes to this song, I can see myself in a white fairy outfit twirling & twirling without getting dizzy.
Comfort in Your Strangeness… lying flat staring at nothing hehehe sometimes staring at the ceiling cracks? Hehehe this is my pampaiisip song, makes me ponder on the problems of the world… strange talaga. Seriously this song is my answer to all the inconsistencies in life.
Burnout… hehehe playing the drums on a mala-autumn in NY kinda place
Island in the Sun, beach beach beach
Breathe (Michelle branch) reminds me of the South Super Hi-way hehehe, my hair should follow the wind while listening to this.
Come On (Ben Jelen) perfect MRT soundtrack
Edge of My Seat (Switchfoot) my long drive theme song
…more to come hehehe magsawa kayo.

PS: As if I’m going to attend the Fete, I would love too but I have a last minute date with Bruce, to those who will attend, enjoy the music while I unravel the mystery that Mr. Wayne has. Happy weekend to all, stay safe & be good.

This was taken inside the pitch black cave with my bestfriend Luchie. You can see the stalagmites formation from where we were standing. Fossils can also be traced from the stone wall behind us, if you will look closely, the white patches on the wall are actually the fossils themselves.

mountain top with count dracula

at yoghurt house where the yoghurt & garden salads are highly recommended

small falls 

it is always great to spend a nice afternoon with good friends, muah to Luchie & Marco

@ St Jo with friend Marco

The cottages at St Jo are really cute & cozy, I recommend this to those who would go to Sagada. Their massages are great too, look for Tita Joy, she's really good.

carefree

I was chatting with my friend Marco yesterday about our Sagada experience and it was really funny that we both were day dreaming about the cliff we went to on our sight seeing. As the picture depicts, you can be carefree and jolly there without having to worry about the city where you reside. And I bet that all 7 of us who went there would agree that we could all live in that place without being bored. Sigh, wish I could go back there.

Excruciating BUT True

Read on... Luchie, Jenny, Gabs and Lorry

1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
3. If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a man's character, leave him alone.
4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
5. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
6. Don't force an attraction.
7. Slower is better.
8. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
9. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
10. Have faith in God regarding your relationship, but don't let faith make you stupid. God does things decent and in order.
11. Don't settle.
12. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
13. If he keeps changing his mind about the relationship--take that as a BIG sign that he is unstable. Do you really want to be with a man like that?
14. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
15. Honorable men take care of their business and aren't involved in a whole lot of mess.
16. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
17. There's only one 'reason' a man dumps you; he doesn't want you.
18. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
19. You really do have to kiss a few frogs before finding the prince.
20. Always put yourself and your happiness first.
21. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
22. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
23. Like from the show Sex and the City, if he doesn't call, he just isn't that interested.
24. Be honest and upfront.
25. Know when to cut the cord, don't be strung along.
26. Don't fall for the "I'm confused role". Remove yourself from the situation to let him figure things out (but don't wait for him, move on).
27. If you want to have a clue as to how he will treat you, watch how he treats the WOMEN in his family (not just mom).
28. There's more than physical abuse, there's emotional and mental abuse. If he causes any of them...flee.
29. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.
30. Don't let him place rules on you that he is not willing to follow himself -- double-standard.
31. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.
32. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
33. Demand respect and if he can't give it, he can't have you!
34. Don't compete with other woman, but be aware that men are attracted to what they see.
35. If you think he is cheating, he probably is. Confront him right away and if you feel he's lying, let him go.
36. Actions speak louder than words.
37. Never let a man define who you are.
38. Never rely on a man for compliments, look to yourself for that.
39. Never borrow someone else's man.
40. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
41. Just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean that he won't hurt you and it doesn't mean that you are meant to be with him.
42. To use painful hard-won wisdom -- 'get it right' the next time.
43. Know that you deserve to be the number one person in the life of the #1person in your life.
44. Love is a verb ...
45. Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying to make someone unavailable-available, someone ungiving-giving, and someone unloving-loving.
46. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
47. All men are NOT dogs.
48. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
49. If you don't love self...you can't love anyone else.
50. You cannot mend someone else's broken heart.
51. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
52. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complementary...not supplementary.
53. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
54. NEVER give more in a relationship than you are getting out of it.
55. Never become your man's "therapist".
56. When actions and words conflict, believe the actions. Respond to the actions.
57. A real healthy relationship requires two people. One person can end it - but it takes two to make it work.
58. Don't fall for the "I'm not the loving type"...when a man loves you there is nothing in this world (within reason) that he wouldn't do for you.
59. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him he takes it for granted.
60. Give him his space...let him go out with his boys, don't pressure him to spend time with you, You cant force a man to hang out with you.
61. If you wouldn't allow your daughter to be with him you shouldn't.
62. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
63. Never move into his mother's house.
64. Provide financially for yourself and don't depend on anyone.
65. Never co-sign for a man.
66. Never believe you have the perfect guy and he is so innocent.
67. Never spoil your man; let him spoil you.
68. Never let a man mess up your credit.
69. When it's time to let go; let go.
70. Good men should be treated like good men.
71. Don't play games.
72. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
73. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
74. Compatibility in terms of educational attainment, values, beliefs, personal and career goals, and socioeconomic status, are important.
75. Never date a guy who wears colored contacts.

Sagada here we come

Can't wait for tomorrow, my friends (thats Luchie, Marco, Mark, Yong & 2 other friends of Mark) will experience almost 4 days of fun & adventure. It's a good opportunity to rest from the traffic of the metro and commune with God & nature. Our itinerary will include Sagada, Baguio & hopefully Banawe, basically good spots of Mountain Province. I will post the pictures here soon. So guys miss me for 4 days, alright?

God bless you all.

Natural High

I could never imagine how lucky I am, to be living this kind of life that I have. It is true that we should count our blessings.

Last night, it was God's real blessing when I was able to sleep so early, yes... I did pray for that. Babaw no? It was because at 8pmish that same day I was looking through the mirror after I have cleansed my face & I have noticed that my eyes were getting a little reddish/ darkish... true enough it is not sore eyes, duh. It was hematoma. I didn't feel bad if I was on a different situation I would cry or perhaps panic. The astonishing thing happened, I closed my eyes & saw a vision. I'm not sure if it was divine intervention but it was beautiful. I saw a blinding light, I was shocked that I cannot open my eyes. When I did I realized that 30 minutes had passed already & I think I have fallen asleep. But I remembered the light & the colors I saw so vividly. Scary as it may sound I thought I was never gonna wake up. It was a message that I should not be afraid. I am ready, I dunno why but I am not afraid anymore.

And how lucky can one get if after almost 9 hours of sleep you'll discover P350 from the jeans you wore 3 weeks ago, laundried & pressed already? My my, this day is promising. I can't wait to see all the other surprises.

Exceptional Women

1st row L-R: Luchie, Ziella, Gene. Vina, Tsuni, Pen, Gabs
2nd row L-R: Dines, Kimmy, Jengklog, Jenny, Mai, Saree & Moi

Luchie: Family provider, amazing bestfriend, best ate in the world, Brad Pitt's dream girl
Ziella: Apple of her bibi's eyes
Gene: Pangasinan's Pride
Vina: Wife & Mother... perfect in both roles
Tsuni: Real life teacher, dancer & singer... total entertainer
Pen: Master of the Numbers, Muse of the Calculators
Gabs: Best buddy, sweetest missy
Dines: Hard worker, great friend... available
Kimmy: Middle East belle, athletic & adventurer
Jengklog: Scott's mistress, Technology Guru
Jenny: Goddess of the Butterflies
Mai: Best thing that ever happened to Canada
Saree: Minnie Mouse's daughter, beauty expert
Moi: blessed to have all the above women as her friends

juanna

juanna
Originally uploaded by Juanna the Sleepwalker.

i might look all too cheerful in this pic but I am not sure if I need to smile or what.

Soumates

"Soulmates, they're very rare but they do exist"
-Albert, What Dreams May Come

I have had my own share of bubus when it comes to being disguised by this crazy thing called soulmates. There was a time when I thought my soulmate was a geographer, I was wrong. Then someone from the past, from my childhood-- wrong again. Then recently I thought he was the blinking man I met. I still think he is but then I can never be too sure.

The answer to this is in the same movie when Chris said "It is not about understanding, it about not giving up". I agree, it is not about understanding for the fact that this unique design of God on how 2 people will live in harmony is simply unexplainable. But lucky are those who found their soulmates & are still with their soulmates.

I was on my way home last Saturday boarding a public transpo. It was already late that is why we were like 4 only inside the vehicle. Near the entrance was an old couple. The old guy was holding a knap sack while holding his wife's hand on the other. I observed that the old lady was in pain, she was wincing & the old man was stroking her hand. I can say that they were really praying that they reach their destination ASAP. I was staring at them until I have to go only to find out that the couple & I had the same stop. I saw both of them walking real slow because of their age & because the old lady was really clutching to the man for support. They were heading to the hospital near the subdivision where I live. It amazes me to find old couple showing signs that they still very much love each other. I have dreamt of the same thing for me & my would be partner in life. I want to grow old along side my soulmate. I want the "Notebook" kind of old age. I have seen my parents grow old together & theirs was a different kind of love. I have seen them work out on a compromise, I have seen them share troubles & pain. I am praying that I would have the same fate as theirs.

But not all of us are lucky enough to end up with the one. My advise, don't give up. Don't look for it either. If its for you it will show itself to you in time. Don't settle for a "just because" person. Settle to the one.

But I am still gonna get married next year hehehe ;-) whatever happens.

Lessons Learned on Love

“I don’t want to be number 3 or number 4 in someone else’s priority”
“If you’re not ready to sound stupid you’re not ready to be in love”
-Emily, A Lot Like Love

Song of the Moment: Colour Blind - Counting Crows

First of all hi to Mark, ang aking Fafa Bear.

Hooray! I was able to make a perfect caesar salad with a little help from salad in a bag, yep I know you’ll say salad lang all you have to do is put dressing toss mix & voila! But what I did was really different, hehehe it’s really good that it is like TGIF’s recipe.

As I busied myself watching DVDs morning till afternoon, my evening was great. I had dinner at Pasto Eastwood with some friends whom I have missed terribly over the last few months. The seafood pasta there is good & so as the thin crust pizza (I am no pizza fan that’s why believe me when I say a pizza from somewhere is good). It was raining hard inside & outside the Citywalk mall. It was awful! Imagine rain pouring inside a mall, I think their pipes were congested or something. Lightning & thunder was horrible too but you can’t stop the Eastwood crowd who were there to party, the rain can’t stop them from doing so. My friends & I watched “A Lot Like Love” & I very much recommend that you guys watch it. It’s about fate, true love, friendship & standing tests of time as one, a certified feel good movie. If you were really meant to be (READ THIS LUCHIE) with this person, you’d get it through… through time, through problems & through other people. I am a big “Dream for an Insomniac” supporter however I do not agree with a line said in that movie that “There is no chance at all, we are all trapped by a singular fate, no one ever finds the one”. I completely disagree, in one’s life, true love always come. For some people it happens once, for those who are lucky not just once. But this doesn’t guarantee a happy ending for everybody, sad but true. By the mere fact that we have all experienced this feeling even for a short while made us all fortunate for the greatest feeling in this world is love. I am not preaching nor patronizing love because I myself have experienced screw ups because of this. I also have a guy who got away but that doesn’t stop me from hoping that the real one is on his way. I don’t want him rushing towards me, he can bid his time but most importantly his path should lead to mine. This is fate. I remember my best friend Luchie telling me some years ago that I should give fate a little nudge. It took me 3 years to finally have the guts and follow that advise & I can say that it was effective, fool proof & a success. I may receive raised brows as a reaction here, people (especially those close to me) may say how come you’re single & unattached if you are saying that it was a success. Why? It was not a failed relationship, it was good, it just that it didn’t end the way a romantic movie would probably do. As the song goes "some good things never last" (way to go Barbara)... I would like to add that I am fortunate beacuse it happened. Some good thing never last others don't even start kaya maswerte pa rin ako hehehe.

Anyway, I can’t wait to share the lines from my favorite movie “Dream for an Insomniac”. This is where some of my principles in life & love came from:

“Fun is fleeting, it is pain that endures and give life it’s meaning” (kinda pessimistic but true, it is pain that we remember more that happy moments)

“I don’t want to be 60 years old & seemingly happily married to some man I know is my second choice & wondering whatever happened to the beautiful angel who came in & out of my life & who never gave me a chance”

“Do you love her? Does the thought of her, the smell of her, the touch of her make you quiver? When she’s away from you, do you think about her & wish she were in your arms making love to you? When you see her after not seeing her for a whole day does she make everything okay?”

“Just remember one thing, anything less that mad, passionate, extraordinary love is a waste of time. There are so many mediocre things in life to deal with & love shouldn’t be one of them”

The lines above were all delivered by Frankie, the insomniac in the movie (& the one I can relate to). The words she has said were in a way idealistic & standard forming but then it was a movie, it may & may not happen in real life.

Signs about true love may seem exaggerated but they’re all true. Quivers, butterflies in the stomach, goose bumps, trembling – you can say that these were all shit but I can attest to that.

Bye for now... I'm off for now. Capisci!

Struck on a Windy Dawn

“If you miss me comeback anytime”
-Kyungjin Yeo, Windstruck

Song of the Moment: I Can’t Smile Without You (Oh Yeah!)

Kaboom, the dvd went flying then it crashed on the wall. It banged due to the uncontrollable emotion that I felt after watching the film. Tears were rolling down my face, I wiped them away & traces of streaks can be seen from my cheeks.

Okay emo shift, hehehe wake up Juanna!

OA hehehe but I must admit, I am guilty I cried while watching the Korean movie Windstruck. Although it was nothing compared to My Sassy Girl, it’ll pass when you’re too bored on a Friday night or is it morning already? Overall rating, a 5 - 10 being the highest.

I used to be a hardcore insomniac, I have experienced staring at the sky while lying on my bed (my bed in Pacita was opposite the windows, I would open them wide & tie the curtains so that I can watch the stars from the sky) then suddenly the sky turned into an orange glow. Before I knew it the sun was shinning already. I cried that moment, not because I was in awe with the transformation of dark to light (reminds me of hope) but because it was the reverse for me… from light to dark… from then on I admitted that I am a certified insomniac. As a self-confessed light sleeper, or let say a person with a terrible sleeping disorder, an hour of sleep is no difference to a full 8 hours that one needs. I mean I really don’t feel tired at all even though I was able to blink for a short while only. Funny how people would often sleep on me while chatting with me on the phone then they’ll wake up clutching the receiver the next morning. During those days I have watched all the TV shows being played including the reruns (I used to watch Just Shoot Me twice in a day – same episode). I said used to be, cos it disappeared when I entered law school. During those days, I wished I was never an insomniac cos then, I’ll have to use all the time I’m awake to read… my life was so miserable that I ended up being sick. But I love law school, If only I can continue studying without any complications, I would love to stick my nose on thick hardbound books & codals.

Anyway you would wonder what is the connection between Windstruck & Insomnia, well there’s none. I just want to blabber & blabber to keep me from staring on the wall while waiting for Sandman.

Segue, my bestfriend just came back from Cambodia. Yes Luchie is back & with a vengeance! Joke, hehehe… I’m just so happy that she’s here in the Philippines for 2 weeks. And we’re going to Sagada, Baguio & Banawe. It’ll be good for the both of us to get away for a while even just for 3 days. I’ll tell you guys more about Luch next time. She deserves a full article, not just being mentioned. Pareho kame ng tadhana nun eh. Oh well, guys were just being moronic sometimes. Biruin mo si Chie, good catch ngayon broken hearted? I could jab that D of an a-hole for a change. He’s so stupid! It seems like break ups these days ended cos of intrusions of other people. But she’s gonna be fine just like me, she’s a fighter… I have seen her rise in glory every time people would push her to the ground. Plus she’s really pretty & smart, a real good catch. Guys, bidding is open in a few hours (hehehehe ibenta ba daw?)…only smart guys are welcome because men like D are pretty stupid when it comes to choosing the better girl. Enough said, marami nang nasasaktan at natatamaan, no offense meant guys & peace out!

Day 2 Step 1.5 Releasing the Negative Energy

To Do: Polish good & Relinquish bad Vocabulary Items
Song of the Moment: Life’s A Bitch by Shooter
Disclosure: Mature language, apologies for such terms, everything is personal (hmmp!)

I know you’re reading!!!

WORD POWER

1. SBITCH – skinny slutty scheming bitch (labels labels)
eg. Girls who would go to the ports and other galleries mining gold with guys who would allow them to swallow them alive... move over Valentina.
2. ALL OVER – raping you hehehe
eg. What can I do? She’s all over me.
3. SUNSET – ditch romanticism try some pessimism
eg. End of the world! (Bwahahaha – mala bruha) who sucked down the feeling? Ako ba?
4. COPYCAT – a lot lot more to choose from, try blog.com or why not xanga.com?
eg. Talaga naman at kailangang sa blogspot din.
5. GP – (2 in 1 meaning) in the order of the original
eg. Music, Adventure & Experience… what’s next? Song Lyrics & Feelings?

Anger is something that should be released, I just wish I have the craft of letting it go. Forgive & Forget is out of the question, my mantra is forgive & learn. No body owes me anything that is why I don't owe anyone either. This is my blog, I can write anything I want. I feel sorry to those who will get hurt with what I wrote, I am just expressing myself and telling the truth. As one person I know told me, the truth hurts. And it does bigtime.

Brainiacs, checking on the brain waves

My favorite hobby to pass the time… bombarding my friends with my whys & what ifs hehehehe. As my friend Jeng would put it, I am the Queen of “worse case scenarios”. Oh well I can’t help it, I am no Promil kid but then again I might have been part of the 0.1 cases of baby prodigies. Hehehe my talent? Magtanong at mangulit.

I would like to share one of my topic na talaga namang bestseller hehehe.

My question: Hindi naman ako pangit…bakit di ako minamaniac?

Okay, stop!

Don’t worry this is not an R18 material, wholesome po ito. I often hear my guy friends talk about girls who pass by & make snotty comments & if the girl is really hot they were verbally abused, yes by my good guy friends. Not abused na harapan ha, narape na sila thru the eyes. No kidding, this always happen… like a girl in a mini skirt, “Pare puti ng legs” or the girl with an unusually big boobies would get a malicious remark without her knowledge. These girls I have been told were also prone to guys who would “accidentally” bump into any part of their body. In other words, namamaniac sila.

Let me give you some snide comments I have received from my so-called friends when I asked them bakit ako hindi namamaniac (hehehehe).

“Ikaw? Eh ang taray ng mukha mo noh”
“At bakit naman gusto mong magpamaniac, aber?”
“Magsuot ka ng daring then ask me again”
“Show some cleavage if you like (Anne: Cleavage? Eh wala ako nun eh)…then forget it”
“Zzzzzzzzzz”
“Tama na kase, smart ka naman okay lang yun hehehe (sarcastic tone)”
“Be glad di ka minamaniac noh! It only means you’re a person with respectable reputation”
“Ano ka ba?”
“Leche ask me something essential & stop you’re non-sense”
“Diyos ko, gustuhin daw bang mahalay?”

and so on….

Other comments would be very much appreciated. Feel free to vandalize.

Although their remarks were nothing but battery to my wounded pride (as if) I am glad that I was able to be antagonized in this topic, it only means that I may be a goody goody kind of person but I am smart hehehe & decent (blink blink).

Thanks sa mga pang aalipusta mga friends :-)

Day 1: Emo Songs to Clear the Cloudy Mind

Day 1
Theme: Mag emote kunwa-kunwarian
Song of the Moment: NOVEMBER

so i'm waiting for this test to end
so these lighter days can soon begin
i'll be alone but maybe more carefree
like a kite that floats so effortlessly
i was afraid to be alone
but now i'm scared that's how i like to be all
these faces, none the same
how can there be so many personalities
so many lifeless, empty hands
so many hearts in great demand
and now my sorrow seems so far away
until i'm taken by these bolts of pain
but i turn them off and tuck them away
till these rainy days that make them stay
and then i'll cry so hard to these sad songs
and the words still ring, once here, now gone
and they echo through my head every day
and i don't think they'll ever go away
just like thinking of your childhood home
but we can't go back, we're on our own,
oh but i'm about to give this one more shot
and find it in myself i'll find it in myself

... to be continued