Change

Stressed with 3 letter “s” is an understatement.  If not for the correct spelling that should be followed, my spelling would have at least 10 letter “s” in it.  I was way beyond stressed last month but I am thankful that little by little, with a few and very minute bumps here and there -- my life is pushing towards the right track.

I cannot say pass to the important things, events and situation that comes my way.  Nor could I gladly ask to lose one turn when chaos, challenges and shortcomings strike.  Growing up means facing the music, you have a choice to either follow the usual steps or create your own.  The former may mean playing it safe and the later, taking some risk.  Either way you have nothing to lose, you tried and if you don’t succeed there is still time to do it again.

Next week, another year would add to my existence.  2012 has been so nice to me.  I am blessed, loved and I’m grateful.  I may have some ups and downs with work and family but I couldn’t ask for more and I wouldn’t change a thing.  I always believe that we reap what we sow and that we would always have the best of everything we deserve.

While chatting with friend J over the weekend, maturity and growing up factor in life kept me pondering.  What happened to our childhood?  What happened to all of us in our teens?  Did it affect how we see the world today?  I didn’t find the answers until last night while doing the usual bending & stretching in our Bikram class, my favourite Yogi was the one teaching the class.  While doing the Savasana (corpse pose) he said “Embrace change and if you have a choice, move on”.  Makes sense.  Things are different now that we are older.  Nothing is easy now.  You have to work hard to get something, unlike when we were young where we were given pretty much everything we need.  These things are major changes and we cannot escape them.  What we can only do is to accept it, deal with it, or in Gino’s (the Yogi) terms – embrace it.  Generally, change is good.  It’s an improvement if you’ll see it in a positive way.  If the change is not for the better, we have to find a solution.  We have to deal with it and if all efforts were made (failed or those successful), we have to move on.  Not to forget about it but to learn from it.

In this world full of imperfections, we can always do something to make it better.  Not perfect, just better.

Midweek boys & girls.  Enjoy the rest of the week.  Keep safe & God bless everyone.

And Happy Birthday to my Kuya!

Barney's Bride

picture from the web

It’s been a while, I know.  I just want to drop a little note before I see the full episode where we’ll all find out (here in the Phils.) who ends up with who in HIMYM.  I know it was my girl Robin but everyone is still rooting for the Ted-Robin Tandem.  And of course Lily & Marshall’s bet is still on.  Ted will meet the kids’ mother on  Barney’s wedding but it doesn’t necessarily mean that she’ll be the love of Ted’s life because that spot was already filled, am I right?  Oh yes I know I’m right.

PS: Cobie looks so cool in Avengers but my mind can't help but anticipate in what scene will the rest of the HIMYM pop out?  I'm such a fan I know.  Catch the 1 hour special of the HIMYM season finale tonight at 8 on 2nd Ave. (This is not a paid plug).

Happy weekend boys & girls!

Reflection

I was about to just account the details of my Vancouver trip, the usual, it was for business and I was there to do a job. I wasn’t able to even have a decent tour because it rained most afternoons and if it doesn’t I was inside the conference hall doing my work. It was my first “more than 5 hours” trip, a major travel if you know what I mean. It was in North America for crying out loud. I was decided to tell the trip in the same manner that I do all the time until something changed my mind.

On the flight going home I watched We Bought A Zoo, it was on the plane’s entertainment channel. I was crying the whole time mid end of the movie to the tune of Sigur Ros’ Hoppipolla. I was crying to Matt Damon. I don’t know why at first. It could be because I was touched by the story, I miss my family, I miss my husband.

I tried not to be too emotional then it struck me, how often do we have those 20 seconds of embarrassment to have the courage flow? How often do we let ourselves go out there, make a crazy adventure, say something stupid and just act foolish? Honestly the answer, well my answer is zero. I always had it calculated. I always have a plan, not just A but up to Z.

Most of us didn’t have our normal emotional childhood, this is not about our literal childhood but the normal stages we have to go through to have the emotional adulthood. It is not being immature but something to do with emotional preparedness. We often deny ourselves of some random act of rolling with the punches, we always make sure that we thought about things and before we even commit an act we already know what the aftermath is. I often would question the word “aftermath” in these situation since they didn’t happen after but before.

I may not make any point (as always) here but what I want to happen is for me to give in to things that are not heavily thought of. That I should give to a little foolishness once in a while to see what would the real aftermath be.

So what I’m basically telling myself here is to let loose, what’s bound to happen will happen and as Matt Damon said in the movie, when you fall in love, real hard it is once in a life time. When you feel something strong towards something – be it for your career, your plan for the day or even what your heart is telling you to tweet about and write in your blog, GO FOR IT!

I like my job but I don’t see myself retiring to it. I have ups & down here and there with regards to it but I get by. But after crying a lot because of it I have decided to do it as long as I’m okay and the minute I’m not I will walk out. If I was asked yesterday if this is a possibility I’ll say no because I still have a lot of responsibility and I cannot lose this job yet but hell, I will find a new one. It may not be something as high paying but it’ll be something I love and loves me back.

I want to have a massage when I arrive in Manila, I’ll go I will not feel guilty about it anymore (this is a different story reserved for later). And if I want to tweet that you, yes you, are a fool not to talk to me, your one true friend who cares for you and actually loves you then I will (or maybe I already did).

We live in a world of uncertainties, I could be dead in a few days or while aboard this plane (knock on wood), we’ll never know. So it is okay to loosen up, let down some guard, remove the tight hair bun and let the wind blew it. It’s okay to cry, be depressed but at least talk to a friend. It is okay to be a cynic but don’t make it a living. It is okay to cry, it is okay to laugh, it is okay to let go. It is okay to open up, hit the ground but get up. It is okay to be disappointed, but don’t give up. It is okay to rely on someone, it won’t make you less of a independent person that you already are. It is okay to be turned down, you can try the second up to gazillionth time. It is okay to fail, the world won’t end because of it. There’s a time and place for everything.

My hubby and I would talk about it most of the time, how we’re not in a rush to start a family but it would be a bonus if we get one early on our marriage. How every period feels like a miscarriage but we console ourselves with the fact that the big guy up there still would want us to go to Europe first and have fun. We talked about how I really miss my best friends. He said absence makes the heart grow fonder and because I love them I let them use their wings to fly. We talked about me being a control freak. And it make sense, it took Matt Damon to make me remove my bun and helmet in the form of denial.

Today as I write this on the very flight that would bring me back to reality I made a decision, that upon ground arrival I will be the coolest version of me. I will let loose, I will let go, I will love more and I will live my life because a great man gave up his for me – for all of us. He took my cross from me so there is no reason to feel a heavy load.

Today, I will not feel guilty or be thrifty with the way I live. Today I will be happy no matter what. I will be more accepting, more understanding, more forgiving.

This is the day I am reborn.

Make this holy week holiday a time for reflection. Rest, lift it up to God and free your mind.

Love this song... Gavin is back, and this is for you. Yes you. I won't talk to you so take your time. Maybe you're still singing this song. I don't know, I don't assume but I just want you to know I miss my friend.

Happy weekend!

Dreams, that's where I have to go
to see your beautiful face anymore
I stare at a picture of you and listen to the radio
Hope, hope there's a conversation
we both admit we had it good but
until then it's alienation, I know, that much is understood
And I realize

CHORUS:
If you ask me how I'm doin I would say I'm doin just fine
I would lie and say that you're not on my mind
But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two
and finally I'm forced to face the truth
No matter what they say, I'm not over you
Not over you

Damn, damn girl you do it well
And I thought you were innocent
You took this heart and put it through hell
But still you're magnificent
I I'm a boomerang doesn't matter how you throw me
Turn around and I'm back in the game
Even better than the old me
But I'm not even close without you

CHORUS:
If you ask me how I'm doin I would say I'm doin just fine
I would lie and say that you're not on my mind
But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two
and finally I'm forced to face the truth.
No matter what I say, I'm not over you

BRIDGE:
And if I had the chance to renew
You know there isn't a thing I wouldn't do
I could get back on the right track
But only if you'd be convinced
So until then

CHORUS:
If you ask me how I'm doin I would say I'm doin just fine
I would lie and say that you're not on my mind
But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two
and finally I'm forced to face the truth
No matter what I say, I'm not over you
Not over you
Not over you
Not over you

Robin thoughts on a Thursday

I am supposed to be working, I got tons of backlog and I need to be back on track. You see I got married (hahaha ibroadcast ba) and I was away on honeymoon that I haven’t had the chance to greet everyone on the blogosphere a Happy New Year. There I greeted everyone in time for the Chinese New Year.

Going back as to why I disrupted my Oh So Busy life is because I am too bothered with what I was able to glimpse on. Yes glimpse on because I wasn’t able to read the full story. I just took a quick read on the article regarding HIMYM. I am way too behind the current series. I don’t want to jump into conclusion but I am so concerned as to who is the Mom. It took me a long time to accept what I have read some time ago from Carter Bays that it is definitely not Robin. I am rooting for Robin. I want it to be Robin and for my sanity it got to be Robin.

But life must go on, the very reason why I’m writing this. I just have to let it out. I miss the gang. Will download more of the episodes soon and will have a marathon this weekend.

PS: I miss you my blog.

De-Stressing

Ways on How To Deal with the Burdens of Life
Key on how to handle stress:

If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on.

I posted the enumerated items below on this very blog 6 (27 July 2005) years ago. Before I have posted side comments on how I feel on each item and I can’t help but smile because I sounded so immature, you can click here to reminisce. This time I am posting it again without any side & snide comments. The other part of me is very happy, I am blessed and loved but the half part of me is sad for things I cannot comprehend. Don’t take it the wrong way, this has nothing to do with my upcoming wedding, it’ll be the highlight of my adult life, to be one with my “the one”. What I’m feeling is something that adults can’t and will not be able to understand and resolve, it is the pains of growing up. Read on, think, ponder but don’t dwell on it too much. Unload your burdens, let’s stay honest and keep the love alive. Happy Thursday folks!

1. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
2. Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
3. Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
4. Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
5. Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
6. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. [anne: hear hear]
7. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
8. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
9. Never buy a car you can't push.
10. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
11. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
12. Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
13. The second mouse gets the cheese.
14. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
15. Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
16. You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
17. Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
18. Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
19. We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors but they all have to live in the same box.
20. A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
21. Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.

I Miss You

I really do.

I miss blabbing and musing about all things under the sun.

You see I am getting hitched in less than 80 days so my time is pretty devoted to preparations. We started early and I thought by this time I'll be chillaxing, watching my favorite tv shows but boy I am so wrong. Although everything is under control and I have never been a bridezilla yet, just thinking about things that still needs to be done stresses me. Maybe I really need to start practicing the mantra " let go and let God".

My birthday month was pretty awesome, I just want to share it with you because you know I always have birthday jitters every year - the price for growing old. But it was different this year, because of my busy schedule I didn't have the time to mope and think about how old and senseless the new year of my life would be. Well that's typical drama queen me but this year was really fun. People Tells me all the time that this is the last birthday I'll celebrate being single.

My sister and my nephew Johann travelled all the way from Bicol to spend a few days here. My best friend travelled a few thousand miles (yep from Singapore) to spend my birthday week with me. My closest friends and dear loved ones were all here. My Panget was here too and gave me the thing that I really wanted (he bought me the SLR cam I wanted which surprised me because he said we'll buy it next year).

I am so blessed, last night I was able to contemplate upon realizing it's the last quarter of the year already. 2012 is already waving at me. 2011 has been so far nice to me. He stayed true to his part of the bargain. Before this year started I asked that he be friendlier and nicer to me unlike the other years and he did, 2011 was really my year. I know it was not perfect, I had a lot of silent angst about my career and work life but God is good I'll be blessed because I know I have worked hard everyday for the company. Money is tight but the drought too shall pass. I am thankful that my parents are fine, their health are not perfect but okay. I am blessed, I believe and I have it in my heart because God is with me.

So there I updated you, I really miss talking to you but be assured that you are never forgotten. I am hoping to write more next year. I intend to travel more and try new exciting things next year so you an I will have a lot of stories to discuss. Please don't be sad okay, I am just here. Bear with me for the time being and let me enjoy my being a princess soon.

I gotta go now my blog, will write more soon. I really miss you and don't go anywhere okay. I'll write more soon.

Love,
Anne

Real Life Story

I am a movieholic, I love watching movies, old & new ones, mainstream or art films. I used to do reviews, I don’t know why I don’t do any of it anymore. Everybody’s busy I know, I am and have always been but I always have the time before to go watch the latest and give it my two cents.

Was it because movies are now available for downloads after a week or so that it was shown in theatres (thanks to torrents)? Or was it because movie tickets now costs a fortune? Or was it because I don’t have a movie buddy to go with? Or was it because there are just no more worth watching flicks anymore? Yes maybe to AB&C but never to D.

I was watching Something Borrowed last night on my very dependable iPod, not for Kate Hudson but because I really like Ginnifer Goodwin and that if I would associate myself to a movie actress I would love her to be in my circle. The roles she play – always an underdog – is something that I (as a viewer) feel for, something that all of us, at one point in our lives can relate to. I like how you would continually guess how the movie would end. Guess #1 is that she would end up with Jon Krasinski, that’s always the case in feel good movies, while you have your eye on someone who doesn’t like you the way you like him or her there will always be this other person who loves you the way you love the other and at the end of the day the happy ending is that you deserved to be the first choice so you’ll end up and you’ll realize that this person you do not adore at the beginning is your one true love (I may have confused you more but I know you get the drift, don’t you?). But I was wrong. Guess #2 is that the best friend Darcy (Kate H.) would be the best friend you wanted, she’ll let you have the guy. She’s selfish at the beginning but would truly be a “friend” in the end and you’ll live happily ever after with the guy (whom you love from the very start but you’re too afraid to let your feelings known that he ends up being the fiancé’ of your best friend). I won’t be writing how the movie ends it is best you watch it if you’re interested.

Why am I babbling about this movie? It is because this movie made me realize that my life lacks the story that is worth telling over and over again. I am blessed not to have encounter too many failures that would give me the chance to retell my story on how I rose from below. I do not have an interesting rag to riches, princess from pauper story. I have never been a damsel in distress, I have never been anybody’s meantime girl nor did I been a “one who got away” character. I have the most boring story. I wake up I do the day’s work and then I rest at night. I sound like I am complaining, I guess I am – a little but I am thankful for the things and people I have in my life right now. There are just times when you want to feel colourful and hyper from the events of the day. And because when the lights are out, my eyes are just closed, my mind adrift that after a couple of hours I have to open them up and resume with the routine that is MY LIFE.

Am I ranting? I’m not. Do I have a point? I don’t. So what do I want? Nothing. That’s it – I want nothing at least I believe I want nothing.

PS: I do not own the photo :)

Flora 101

I had my own fair share of receiving bouquet of flowers not just because it was Valentines, sometimes during ‘saries (yes month & anniv, etc.) I have even received a humongous bouquet one New Year’s Day several years ago. I am a flower fan although I always have this projection that I’m not a person really fond of flowers especially during my younger years because 1. I don’t know how to explain to my parents that this guy gave it to me, 2. I don’t want to be teased by my friends and classmates and 3. I don’t know how to drive nor have a car to drive. It always embarrasses me to commute holding one big bunch of bouquet because people would often stare at me. I love spring flowers – daisies, mums, gerberas. Roses? Not too much. But I always have a thing for baby’s breath, asters, lily of the valley and the likes. I know all about stargazers and hydrangeas too. Well we know all about the Gumamelas (Hibiscus if you want to be sosyal) since it’s the main ingredients of our bubbles, the Santan flowers (raise your hand those who would sip the stems of the small flowers because they tasted sweet?). My mother loves the Boungavilleas, with their thorny stems and flimsy petals, she used to collect different shades of this type in our garden back in our hometown. We know the Yellow Bells (Campanilla), Calachuchi (oh we feared it’s smell when we were younger, reminds us of funerals), the orchids – we love them during graduations and our Moms and Aunts collects them, placing coconut husks, eggshells, attaching the plants to dead trees, watering it with beer or their special human urine concoction – oh yes! My Mama and some aunt are orchid freaks when I was young.

I know a lot about flowers right? WRONG.

I have never been so flower dumb in my entire life.

I was amazed that there is this a whole new world of flower education. I met (well we’re just emailing, I haven’t met him personally – yet) this one amazing guy who knows all about flowers. Well he’s a master in that field, it’s his business to know it alright but man, when I was asked what flowers to I have in mind I was speechless. All I know is that I love colors, I love small petals, I hate gigantic flowers and I hate spiky and too much green in one flower arrangement.

I started googling all about the flowers I have heard and learned from the master and you can click each flowers to have an idea of what they look like. I have just learned all about Statice, Agaphantus, Snapdragon, Alstromeria, Eryngium, Peonies, etc.

It’s crazy! I was overwhelmed with too much information to absorb and all details of what they looks like so I could remember. More about flowers to be posted on the wedsite soon.

So gentlemen, very timely for the Vday, KNOW YOUR FLOWERS. Enough of the roses (Oh well unless they’re American long stemmed or Ecuadorian). Try a little research and impress the ladies.

The Year of the Rabbit

Kung Hei Fat Choi!

As we prepare for the Chinese New Year, it won’t hurt to follow a few Chinese traditions that could bring prosperity, good luck and happiness to us and to our families. It worked for our Chinese brothers and sisters so why don’t we try it and see for ourselves. Here are some tips that you can try at home:

ON FEB. 2, fill your dining table with fruits, particularly pineapple, pomelo, orange, apple, banana, grapes and dragon fruit, to attract money, harmony and prosperity. And, who doesn’t want that? Five means harvest and luck in Chinese.

Don’t forget to put two pieces of ang pao on the table so you can have better luck in the Year of the Metal Rabbit. Add more candies like macapuno on table because they mean “home sweet home.”

It would be auspicious also to have watermelon and lotus seeds on the table which signify money and luck, respectively, in Chinese.

Have your rice bin filled up during the Chinese New Year and place on top more lucky stuff like Chinese lettuce, Chinese celery, spring onions, carrots with leaves and lotus root. The lotus root implies harmonious relationship between husband and wife.

Add kiat kiat or mini ponkans on top of the rice bin overnight with P168 inside the rice bin. Don’t use coins. Use paper notes. Then, place one piece of ang pao on top of them all. (And how can we produce an exact P168 without using coins? The answer varies, you can add old P2 bills or write a check hehehe – Anne)

It is also advised to wear new underwear (hehe) and a new pair of slippers. Then you take a bath to remove all the bad luck of 2010. Even if you’re lucky in 2010 you still need to do it for the Year of the Rabbit. Use the new items you purchased :)

It is also advised that families go to Makati because Makati is the Philippine’s business district and because money is concentrated in that area.

The Year of the Metal Rabbit is generally a better year than the Tiger (last year). It promises a romantic year for everybody. Business will bloom, specifically in trading, mining (gold), real estate, hotel business.

Lucky colors of the Metal Rabbit, white, sky blue, gold, red, peach, silver, green, orange, pink and violet.

Love life in general is good for everyone except those under the rat sign (those under the rat signs, don’t feel sad… these are just guide – Anne).

Lucky signs this year: Rabbit, Horse, Goat, Dragon, Rat and Ox.

These advises were from the renowned Hong Kong-based geomancer Joseph Chau, feng shui consultant of Mandarin Oriental, Manila.

So there you go boys and girls, all the best this New Year. I bet all my single friends (whom majority are born on the year of the Goat, will be happy this year for it was advised in almost all sites that romance will blossom for all single ladies born with our sign, a few lucky ones will even get married this year (huwahaha!). Take care and happy year of the Rabbit!!!

eatpraylove

I was driving to work early this morning when the topic for the radio show I frequently listen to is to complete the sentence “I _________eat_______, I pray that _________ and I love________”. The topic was of course inspired by the book turned movie starring Julia Roberts, Eat Pray Love.

I have been dying to write news here for some time now, I had a birthday week, W & my bestfriend Luchie was in town and me and my boyps Mark & Yong are closer than ever. Of course there’s this celeb with my J girls and 2 get togethers with friend Jo (in 2 weeks we met twice, this is shocking knowing how busy he is). The bookfair, expos, John Mayer rainy concert, the preps and other stuff. I have a full schedule every week that I wasn’t able to jog anymore or watch the 1^st 2 episodes of TARA 4 (I was able to watch the rerun of the 2^nd epi though). Not that I’m complaining but I’m glad I am not stressed – yet.

Now the reason why I mentioned the Eat Pray Love fill in the blanks was because I had the same idea before. I wanted to write something, 3 paragraphs actually dealing with each subject, so here I go in my attempt to unleash the writer wannabe in me.

Sad to say I cannot discuss EAT in a very colourful and enticing manner. The actual topic for EAT is actually the NOT part as in I am not eating for the past 1 & a half week already. Me and my loyal dietmate Rovs is on our nth attempt at SBD. Our first SBD was really successful, it was 2 years ago our next attempts failed miserably and this time I can say we may not be that successful (again) on weight loss but it is working for us. So for the eating part I am not happy. How I miss to munch junk food and sweets. The rice I don’t miss that much but the bread! I see them every morning, the chocolates, I see them every night. But no pain no gain right? Plus it is not healthy so I am now anti-carbo loading, calories shoving and sugar infusion. I don’t know where this ambitious attempt to be healthy will take me but nevertheless there is no harm in trying.

I PRAY for a lot of things lately. I pray for my family, their safety and health. I pray for my job, my colleagues, my friends. And when I pray I thank the Lord for the blessings. But the thing I prayed hard for these past few days is for discernment, not over W because I know I’m sure but for the choices that we’re making. The Lord granted me a happy heart and I am truly grateful. I am humbled in saying that it was His will, we are just mere followers. I am continuously praying and hoping that everything will be for the best, every decision is for our happiness.

And LOVE, I love my life and the everyone in it! I just hope the good things never ends.

I am so excited to meet up with friends Rhei & Dines later today. I have this mini project to which I’ll be needing their help and talent. Also I am so thankful to this new egroup I joined, the members have been helping each other big time, as in going out of their ways to find each a better solution and suggestion to everything under the sun. I love the w@wies!

It’s almost the weekend. Bye bye for now but here are some photos from the past week that I would love to share:

don't mind the date, cam ata ni Zie ito - my girls @ the bday celeb, Isabelle Royale Oct 2-3, 2010 (Chu, Zie, Gabs, Sar, Gaux & Faye)

Barbs, Sar, Ronald, Chu, Gabs, Faye, Gaux & Zie

Yong, Chie & W

Bestfriends for life! Happy Bday to me ;)

Monday Sickness

GO AWAY!

I really don’t have one today, I am in the mood to work and finish the day productively however the 4 days spent lazy-ing has taken its toll. Now all I want to do is eat and sleep or just cuddle with my cutesy pamangkins & the Boyps (hehe). Here are pictures (by my baby) of Caleruega, it’s one of the best places to spend your holy week.




Happy Monday boys & girls – say NO to Monday sicknesses. Peace Out!

Vday Thoughts

Am I suppose to love (or even like for that matter) vday this year cos I am already in a relationship? I have been – for the longest time – an anti-vday advocate. Not just because I was single all those times but because I hate the commercialism that surrounded this day that was supposed to be a grand gesture of honoring St. Valentines.

I am still anti-vday not because I am obligated to give W something, I would still stick to my idealism (hehehe an excuse), that I won’t be part of those who succumbs to Hallmark or gift stores for inventing this holiday. So if in case baby you’re reading this, you’re not getting anything okay?

But wholeheartedly, I am going to greet everyone an advance Happy Vday. Enjoy this day… don’t let this holiday slip without telling your loved ones the way you feel about them. It’s your choice if you want something wrapped to go along with your I Love Yous. Take care boys & girls!

I Have...

News... Updates and Chismaxes!!!

SOON :)

Happy Holidays everyone!

Lost, Found, Lost

I had a viewing bonanza (on my iPod) last night in this order, season 2 episode 3 of 90210 (one of my guilty pleasures, don't mock me okay), The Ugly Truth then lastly The Reader (you can tell that I went to bed around 1 am). I don't know if it's because of the unhappiness theme of both movies (hephep walang kokontra - The Ugly Truth I know had a happy ending and it's the reason why I'm saying it's a sad one, a fake happiness, more about this later) that I grabbed my stylus and started writing this paragraph on my phone organizer:

"It's crazy being in love, you do all sorts of stupid things like NOT doing any(some)thing even if the act means saving the life of the person you care about. It makes you cry, laugh, brings a lot of absurdities and happiness in life all at the same time, how stupid is that right? Like the song "Found", is there any good in being lost that one would dare not to be found? Is there such a thing as a good loss (hehehe good riddance is not love)? Just be in the abyss? The writer would yell "Hell yes!" because being lost some(any)where with the person you love is worth it. That at the end of the day everyone is just a cuddle kind of guy/gal. We all want to be with someone to feel loved. It is not the fear of being alone that we would want to be in a relationship (even how messy and hateful it is). It is more about being afraid to overflow, to feel overwhelmed since there is no such thing as just being plainly whelmed because you have so much to give, so much to offer, too much to take with no one to catch everything you've thrown at the end of the line. Love is crazy, it's stupid, it's the most unpredictable Thing (if it's non-living), Feeling (if it's emotion), Guy (if it's a person) or Girl (if it's me hehehe) in the world. The most wanted yet most dreaded."

Why am I blabbing about this last night? Because I'm a cliche. I am feeling just whelmed no pre or suffixes (if you know what I mean).

More Ugly Truths about the Ugly Truth soon (I don't feel like writing anymore hehehe). Enjoy the week girls and boys, I hope everyone's alright after the shower baths & tubs brought by Ondoy & Pepeng. Be thankful we're all still breathing, I know I am.

Okay here we go...

The weather (especially the rain), the holidays & long weekends, a birthday coming up, DVDs of movies and TV series – all contributed to a sudden inspiration that made me write again. I’ve zoned out for weeks (months) now, posting nothing but pictures and breathing entries (messages informing that I am still alive). I’ve attended a lot of events with friends and families that I usually write stuff about but since I’ve been zoning out and zombying (not an official word) I didn’t post anything of these said events here. I have a lot of time if I want too, having all of those holidays have given me ample of time to write but because I was too tired (and lazy) to do so, all I did was just formulate sentences & paragraphs in my head. I never reached the actual writing part.

Ranking my news and not so new blah blah, I have to start with the shallowest bit of info. Years ago I was hooked on Tru Calling because I love Luc. I stopped watching when he died, Matthew Bomer was the only thing that got me addicted on that show in the first place. So after several years (4 years) he’s back as Bryce Larkin on Chuck. I was uber happy (shallow I told you) when I saw him... so I’m dividing my attention between him and my new love Chuck (Zachary Levi).

When one ages in any acceptable fashion (be it gracefully, dramatically, drastic, pathetic, whatever) you are forced to look back at the past year that went by and to ask the question what happened. You may remember happy gatherings, surprise parties, a special person, a very fabulous gift, something you have bought, something painful, an embarrassing situation, an accident, a love story, sweet words, proud moments, monumental achievements and other things that made a topsy-turvy impact in your another year older life. When I was younger (than I am today) I called it the birthday jitters but now that I am old (yes older) jitters seem immature. The word jitters seems to lose its glitter (jitters glitters hehehe it rhymes). Two weeks from now I’ll be stepping into another race, end of the line for the 20s and I am at that moment when I am forced to ask myself what I did the past year.

I have realized that the way I am to my family changed a lot big time. This is one part of my life where I don’t know how to feel, I am already numb (in a good way I guess). Don’t get me wrong, nothing about this (my family) is bad... I love them to death and I am happy. I am just tired. Tired, but happy. Defensive as it may sound I really am happy. But I am always tired, physically and mentally.

Work has always and will forever be a blessing. I am happy and contented with my work. I am thankful that during the trying times, the economic turmoil, the financial crisis – I have a job. I am satisfied but most of the time stressed and tired. Maybe because of the load, maybe because of the scheduling, maybe because of a lot of things. Defensive again as it may sound, I am happy and thankful of the job that makes me tired.

Because of my demanding family and job I am left with very little time for my friends. I am blessed with different group of friends – my best friend, the guy, my college kada (the jologs & the guys), my HS friends, my work friends. I may not see them all very often but we always keep in touch.

I am enumerating my blessings because I am grateful. The last year may give yawn a yawn (that’s how boring it is) but it made me ponder on what is really important in life.

As I look back, there is nothing from it that I would change. My life may lack the lustre of a myriad color wheel but it was a life well lived.

Hello 2010

You might think that I am probably very excited for 2009 to end and for 2010 to arrive. I am not and I don’t feel any indifference as well. Let’s just say that I expect 2010 to be here any moment now the same way 6 months of 2009 passed without me noticing it. It was that fast that I didn’t have the time to think analyze and plan at all.

Time flies when you’re having fun so they say and in my opinion time runaway from me. Time is always in a rush and is running all the time. Oh well we can’t do anything about its phase.. but we can always make it worthwhile.

Enjoy the week everyone!

PS: Happy Birthday Dines!!!

AI Updates & my (unsolicited, so what?) Opinion

I think Michael Castro’s theory about the judge’s favorites being asked to sing last on each performance night for audience recall can be true. You can read MC’s post here.

Come to think of it, Danny, Adam and Lil all sang last on each group night and you can also feel that the judges likes them (a lot, especially Danny Drama este Gokey).

I am just glad that I’ll get to see Anoop to sing again, not just tonight but on the following weeks to come, I can feel that he’ll be top 5 and up. AI is also trying (very hard) to spice things up this season – a new judge, lots of drama, non-stop bickering of Ryan and Simon and then now read this: TOP 13! I know I haven’t been doing much except surf the web today, blog and talk about chismaxes.

For now I am just gonna enjoy watching performances but I’m excited for next year. Can’t wait to see Jamar audition and WIN season 9 (hehehe I have the gift of prophecy).