Change

Stressed with 3 letter “s” is an understatement.  If not for the correct spelling that should be followed, my spelling would have at least 10 letter “s” in it.  I was way beyond stressed last month but I am thankful that little by little, with a few and very minute bumps here and there -- my life is pushing towards the right track.

I cannot say pass to the important things, events and situation that comes my way.  Nor could I gladly ask to lose one turn when chaos, challenges and shortcomings strike.  Growing up means facing the music, you have a choice to either follow the usual steps or create your own.  The former may mean playing it safe and the later, taking some risk.  Either way you have nothing to lose, you tried and if you don’t succeed there is still time to do it again.

Next week, another year would add to my existence.  2012 has been so nice to me.  I am blessed, loved and I’m grateful.  I may have some ups and downs with work and family but I couldn’t ask for more and I wouldn’t change a thing.  I always believe that we reap what we sow and that we would always have the best of everything we deserve.

While chatting with friend J over the weekend, maturity and growing up factor in life kept me pondering.  What happened to our childhood?  What happened to all of us in our teens?  Did it affect how we see the world today?  I didn’t find the answers until last night while doing the usual bending & stretching in our Bikram class, my favourite Yogi was the one teaching the class.  While doing the Savasana (corpse pose) he said “Embrace change and if you have a choice, move on”.  Makes sense.  Things are different now that we are older.  Nothing is easy now.  You have to work hard to get something, unlike when we were young where we were given pretty much everything we need.  These things are major changes and we cannot escape them.  What we can only do is to accept it, deal with it, or in Gino’s (the Yogi) terms – embrace it.  Generally, change is good.  It’s an improvement if you’ll see it in a positive way.  If the change is not for the better, we have to find a solution.  We have to deal with it and if all efforts were made (failed or those successful), we have to move on.  Not to forget about it but to learn from it.

In this world full of imperfections, we can always do something to make it better.  Not perfect, just better.

Midweek boys & girls.  Enjoy the rest of the week.  Keep safe & God bless everyone.

And Happy Birthday to my Kuya!

De-Stressing

Ways on How To Deal with the Burdens of Life
Key on how to handle stress:

If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on.

I posted the enumerated items below on this very blog 6 (27 July 2005) years ago. Before I have posted side comments on how I feel on each item and I can’t help but smile because I sounded so immature, you can click here to reminisce. This time I am posting it again without any side & snide comments. The other part of me is very happy, I am blessed and loved but the half part of me is sad for things I cannot comprehend. Don’t take it the wrong way, this has nothing to do with my upcoming wedding, it’ll be the highlight of my adult life, to be one with my “the one”. What I’m feeling is something that adults can’t and will not be able to understand and resolve, it is the pains of growing up. Read on, think, ponder but don’t dwell on it too much. Unload your burdens, let’s stay honest and keep the love alive. Happy Thursday folks!

1. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
2. Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
3. Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
4. Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
5. Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
6. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. [anne: hear hear]
7. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
8. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
9. Never buy a car you can't push.
10. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
11. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
12. Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
13. The second mouse gets the cheese.
14. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
15. Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
16. You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
17. Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
18. Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
19. We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors but they all have to live in the same box.
20. A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
21. Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.

I Miss You

I really do.

I miss blabbing and musing about all things under the sun.

You see I am getting hitched in less than 80 days so my time is pretty devoted to preparations. We started early and I thought by this time I'll be chillaxing, watching my favorite tv shows but boy I am so wrong. Although everything is under control and I have never been a bridezilla yet, just thinking about things that still needs to be done stresses me. Maybe I really need to start practicing the mantra " let go and let God".

My birthday month was pretty awesome, I just want to share it with you because you know I always have birthday jitters every year - the price for growing old. But it was different this year, because of my busy schedule I didn't have the time to mope and think about how old and senseless the new year of my life would be. Well that's typical drama queen me but this year was really fun. People Tells me all the time that this is the last birthday I'll celebrate being single.

My sister and my nephew Johann travelled all the way from Bicol to spend a few days here. My best friend travelled a few thousand miles (yep from Singapore) to spend my birthday week with me. My closest friends and dear loved ones were all here. My Panget was here too and gave me the thing that I really wanted (he bought me the SLR cam I wanted which surprised me because he said we'll buy it next year).

I am so blessed, last night I was able to contemplate upon realizing it's the last quarter of the year already. 2012 is already waving at me. 2011 has been so far nice to me. He stayed true to his part of the bargain. Before this year started I asked that he be friendlier and nicer to me unlike the other years and he did, 2011 was really my year. I know it was not perfect, I had a lot of silent angst about my career and work life but God is good I'll be blessed because I know I have worked hard everyday for the company. Money is tight but the drought too shall pass. I am thankful that my parents are fine, their health are not perfect but okay. I am blessed, I believe and I have it in my heart because God is with me.

So there I updated you, I really miss talking to you but be assured that you are never forgotten. I am hoping to write more next year. I intend to travel more and try new exciting things next year so you an I will have a lot of stories to discuss. Please don't be sad okay, I am just here. Bear with me for the time being and let me enjoy my being a princess soon.

I gotta go now my blog, will write more soon. I really miss you and don't go anywhere okay. I'll write more soon.

Love,
Anne

Okay here we go...

The weather (especially the rain), the holidays & long weekends, a birthday coming up, DVDs of movies and TV series – all contributed to a sudden inspiration that made me write again. I’ve zoned out for weeks (months) now, posting nothing but pictures and breathing entries (messages informing that I am still alive). I’ve attended a lot of events with friends and families that I usually write stuff about but since I’ve been zoning out and zombying (not an official word) I didn’t post anything of these said events here. I have a lot of time if I want too, having all of those holidays have given me ample of time to write but because I was too tired (and lazy) to do so, all I did was just formulate sentences & paragraphs in my head. I never reached the actual writing part.

Ranking my news and not so new blah blah, I have to start with the shallowest bit of info. Years ago I was hooked on Tru Calling because I love Luc. I stopped watching when he died, Matthew Bomer was the only thing that got me addicted on that show in the first place. So after several years (4 years) he’s back as Bryce Larkin on Chuck. I was uber happy (shallow I told you) when I saw him... so I’m dividing my attention between him and my new love Chuck (Zachary Levi).

When one ages in any acceptable fashion (be it gracefully, dramatically, drastic, pathetic, whatever) you are forced to look back at the past year that went by and to ask the question what happened. You may remember happy gatherings, surprise parties, a special person, a very fabulous gift, something you have bought, something painful, an embarrassing situation, an accident, a love story, sweet words, proud moments, monumental achievements and other things that made a topsy-turvy impact in your another year older life. When I was younger (than I am today) I called it the birthday jitters but now that I am old (yes older) jitters seem immature. The word jitters seems to lose its glitter (jitters glitters hehehe it rhymes). Two weeks from now I’ll be stepping into another race, end of the line for the 20s and I am at that moment when I am forced to ask myself what I did the past year.

I have realized that the way I am to my family changed a lot big time. This is one part of my life where I don’t know how to feel, I am already numb (in a good way I guess). Don’t get me wrong, nothing about this (my family) is bad... I love them to death and I am happy. I am just tired. Tired, but happy. Defensive as it may sound I really am happy. But I am always tired, physically and mentally.

Work has always and will forever be a blessing. I am happy and contented with my work. I am thankful that during the trying times, the economic turmoil, the financial crisis – I have a job. I am satisfied but most of the time stressed and tired. Maybe because of the load, maybe because of the scheduling, maybe because of a lot of things. Defensive again as it may sound, I am happy and thankful of the job that makes me tired.

Because of my demanding family and job I am left with very little time for my friends. I am blessed with different group of friends – my best friend, the guy, my college kada (the jologs & the guys), my HS friends, my work friends. I may not see them all very often but we always keep in touch.

I am enumerating my blessings because I am grateful. The last year may give yawn a yawn (that’s how boring it is) but it made me ponder on what is really important in life.

As I look back, there is nothing from it that I would change. My life may lack the lustre of a myriad color wheel but it was a life well lived.

Sleep Early NO TV Tuesday

The majority have spoken (some of my neighbors not included) that they don’t like the climate change that is happening. Global Warming is really a life threatening phenomena.

The once a year Earth Hour is a really a big move and as a supporter of this honorable cause why don’t we step it up a little? Why not make it once every quarter? For some reasons I do believe that making this a regular thing not just once a week is asking for too much and I know that it was just easy for me to say. That is why I decided to act on it. I am launching my very own “Sleep Early NO TV Tuesday”. I am a lady with a mission here, I know it may sound stupid but I believe that every great journey (this one is saving planet Earth) starts with a single (stupid as it may sound in this agenda) step. I promise to do this whenever I can... no lights, no TV & no Ipod (of course any crusade will encounter exclusion(s) somewhere along the way and defensive as it may sound... I am not making any excuses I am just saying that there are always some justifiable circumstances *wink*).

March 28, 2009 8:30-9:30 pm in London

Why Tuesday?

1. It’s my least favourite day of the week (pretty selfish huh?)
2. I don’t know anyone who loves this day (okay, guys especially if I know you don’t come rushing to me swearing that this is your favourite day... keep it to yourself, please?)
3. This day was named after Tyr – Nordic’s God of War, Mars’ (Roman) and Ares’ (Greek) counterpart (thus MARTES). I don’t want lightning bolt to strike me when I say this – they are my least favourite Gods in any mythology.
4. Nothing good is on TV (I planned this pretty well) and a little beauty sleep is good for the health
5. It’s the day of the week that most people feel lazy – it’s the day that followed the busiest day of the week which is Monday, the day after the weekend hence making Tuesday the day when you are very much still feeling attached to you bed or the couch

March 28, 2009 8:30-9:30 pm The Petronas Tower Kuala Lampur, Malaysia

Everyone is invited to act in lessening the fuel emission and slowing down Global Warming in their own little way (the rate we are going in destroying our planet is really devastating). I know that my campaign may not save the Earth but I know that in an extremely tiny, smallest, leastest (this word doesn’t exist), minuscule, infinitesimal (I have looked this is up trust me I’m not that good with synonyms), little to the highest power... I can lessen my carbon footprint in this planet we called Home.

Happy Monday everyone!

The Thing I Fear The Most

It's not spiders, it's not the dark, it's not those psycho serial killers roaming around the neighborhood and definitely it's not even the future of ending up alone...

This best describes the fear I feel about the thought of my parents inevitably aging. Time is of the essence, Mother's and Father's Day may still be a few months away but it won't hurt to tell them you love them every now and then.Happy weekend everyone, stay safe.

Hello 2009

2008 and I had a pretty nice though tough relationship together. I am not praying for 09 to be kinder but I am hoping and wishing that this time 09 and I will be a little more friendlier to each other.

As 08 bid farewell I am very thankful for a lot of things... the things maybe too many to mention but I am deeply grateful especially to Him above.

Enjoy & give 2009 a warm welcome everyone, let's all pray it'll be a little bit understanding and will give us lotsa cuddles for the next 365 days.

God bless everyone, easy on the sweets & cholesterol laden foodies. Although it's just 1 day... sweat it all out on Jan 2.

My Eulogy for dear Bulan

I can’t help but feel sad over my hometown’s non-stop battling over a “mala ZTE” scam. I spent my intellect forming days in that formerly happy town, I had a lot of wonderful memories in high school and college sem breaks there. I was even given the chance to experience what it’s like to be a public leader for a week when I became a town councilor elect during my Junior HS year’s Boy & Girl week. It’s a week where student leaders from different HS in our town elect among their peers the mayor, vice mayor, and kagawads then the elected officers will appoint their cabinet members… it was fun when you’re young because all we did was hang around the mayor’s office playing scrabble and exchanging school gossips. But not everything in that week is fun, fun, fun… we also attended the council session where plans for our dear town were made. The little mayor even married an old couple in a civil ceremony. It was amusing but at the same time there was a huge responsibility being served in our plates because we were being formed and molded into becoming tomorrow’s leaders.

I don’t know if I should feel disappointed because as a member of our town I did nothing to support the place. I’ve been outside Bulan for the longest time more than half my life, it was my parents who really spent their time in our town. But now even my parents are here in Manila. I am not sure if I am allowed to spill out my observations… I am not sure if I am entitled to feel bad against the administration & the opposition. I don’t support either of them and I can’t condemn anyone either. I am just a bystander, reading and just being informed about how our town is now a hodgepodge of crimes, corruptions and other unimaginable sad things.

I can’t help but feel little again over the fact that I am really living a shallow life. I can’t help but feel troubled over things that made me really gleeful in high school. I’m gonna miss my old town. I’m going to miss the town that made me realize how fun it is to grow up in a quiet place if you’re surrounded by trustworthy folks and a community that supports you and think about what’s best for your welfare. I’m going to miss Bulan, because now the old town I love is dead.

I’ve been trying to discipline myself more this year in terms of my sleeping habits, the food I eat and exercise. The past few days I was watching bit by bit a cute Korean novella that I saw in one of the local channels. Luckily a DVD with the complete episode of that novella is already available at my friendly DVD store. I’m a TV & DVDholic, it is my known weakness to finish a 20 episode show in one sitting (or in some cases slouching or even stumbling in bed is also involved). I am amazed at myself on the developments I had in terms of sleeping early. When the clock strike 12 am I made sure that I turn the TV & DVD player off. I’ve been doing it for a week already and I was able to finish the whole DVD in 4 sessions. It is a great accomplishment on my part that is why I chose to mention it here as an entry, to congratulate myself (hahaha because no one will). I’ve been a pro insomniac for years now that is why it is really vital to discipline oneself and free the mind on a certain time. It doesn’t matter if I can’t sleep as long as I was able to rest my mind & body. But I should say that sleep is still by far the best form of relaxation for everyone.

I feel a little sad over the fact that my reading habit in the last year was really poor. I have read very few books and it made me assess myself on what I really care for in life. For me learning is everything… I love books, I love watching movies, I love the TV. I learn a lot from those things especially from the books. I remembered my friends especially Jenny using my books as hostages when she or they (together with Jeng, they love to blackmail me using my books) wants to torture me or wants me to do something risky that I do not want to be a part of. That’s how important my books are to me and unfortunately I am not ready to give them up – yet. I was a little disappointed with myself that I was not able to read good quality books in 2007. I have read a few and started on a lot and failed to finish. But this year I started to read again, beginning with the unfinished Letters to a Young Poet which I started last year in September. I alternately read it with a new book I got as a present from my good friend Moises - Nora Ephron’s Wallflower at the Orgy. I read 2 books sometimes so as not to feel overwhelmed or saturated over one story. It can also stop the boredom I feel towards one book when I think it is beginning to get dragging.

There are times when one would often contemplate on the things he or she did in the past especially when the result is not what was intended to be. The usual question would be what went wrong? What should be done instead? Did I go overboard? Are my efforts not good enough? We ask all of these but the answer is just simple either it’s not meant to be or that it is worth giving it another shot. In any of these reasons that you want to believe in there would always be 2 sides, the yes and the no, the black and the white. No maybe and no such thing as gray. It is really a wild world, it is always best to be strong. Life is short, you’d know in your heart if one this is worth the risk and once you do realize that it is, whatever happen, never ever entertain regret.