Lost, Found, Lost

I had a viewing bonanza (on my iPod) last night in this order, season 2 episode 3 of 90210 (one of my guilty pleasures, don't mock me okay), The Ugly Truth then lastly The Reader (you can tell that I went to bed around 1 am). I don't know if it's because of the unhappiness theme of both movies (hephep walang kokontra - The Ugly Truth I know had a happy ending and it's the reason why I'm saying it's a sad one, a fake happiness, more about this later) that I grabbed my stylus and started writing this paragraph on my phone organizer:

"It's crazy being in love, you do all sorts of stupid things like NOT doing any(some)thing even if the act means saving the life of the person you care about. It makes you cry, laugh, brings a lot of absurdities and happiness in life all at the same time, how stupid is that right? Like the song "Found", is there any good in being lost that one would dare not to be found? Is there such a thing as a good loss (hehehe good riddance is not love)? Just be in the abyss? The writer would yell "Hell yes!" because being lost some(any)where with the person you love is worth it. That at the end of the day everyone is just a cuddle kind of guy/gal. We all want to be with someone to feel loved. It is not the fear of being alone that we would want to be in a relationship (even how messy and hateful it is). It is more about being afraid to overflow, to feel overwhelmed since there is no such thing as just being plainly whelmed because you have so much to give, so much to offer, too much to take with no one to catch everything you've thrown at the end of the line. Love is crazy, it's stupid, it's the most unpredictable Thing (if it's non-living), Feeling (if it's emotion), Guy (if it's a person) or Girl (if it's me hehehe) in the world. The most wanted yet most dreaded."

Why am I blabbing about this last night? Because I'm a cliche. I am feeling just whelmed no pre or suffixes (if you know what I mean).

More Ugly Truths about the Ugly Truth soon (I don't feel like writing anymore hehehe). Enjoy the week girls and boys, I hope everyone's alright after the shower baths & tubs brought by Ondoy & Pepeng. Be thankful we're all still breathing, I know I am.

Fresh Feeling

Love the song, love the scene, love these two...

Okay here we go...

The weather (especially the rain), the holidays & long weekends, a birthday coming up, DVDs of movies and TV series – all contributed to a sudden inspiration that made me write again. I’ve zoned out for weeks (months) now, posting nothing but pictures and breathing entries (messages informing that I am still alive). I’ve attended a lot of events with friends and families that I usually write stuff about but since I’ve been zoning out and zombying (not an official word) I didn’t post anything of these said events here. I have a lot of time if I want too, having all of those holidays have given me ample of time to write but because I was too tired (and lazy) to do so, all I did was just formulate sentences & paragraphs in my head. I never reached the actual writing part.

Ranking my news and not so new blah blah, I have to start with the shallowest bit of info. Years ago I was hooked on Tru Calling because I love Luc. I stopped watching when he died, Matthew Bomer was the only thing that got me addicted on that show in the first place. So after several years (4 years) he’s back as Bryce Larkin on Chuck. I was uber happy (shallow I told you) when I saw him... so I’m dividing my attention between him and my new love Chuck (Zachary Levi).

When one ages in any acceptable fashion (be it gracefully, dramatically, drastic, pathetic, whatever) you are forced to look back at the past year that went by and to ask the question what happened. You may remember happy gatherings, surprise parties, a special person, a very fabulous gift, something you have bought, something painful, an embarrassing situation, an accident, a love story, sweet words, proud moments, monumental achievements and other things that made a topsy-turvy impact in your another year older life. When I was younger (than I am today) I called it the birthday jitters but now that I am old (yes older) jitters seem immature. The word jitters seems to lose its glitter (jitters glitters hehehe it rhymes). Two weeks from now I’ll be stepping into another race, end of the line for the 20s and I am at that moment when I am forced to ask myself what I did the past year.

I have realized that the way I am to my family changed a lot big time. This is one part of my life where I don’t know how to feel, I am already numb (in a good way I guess). Don’t get me wrong, nothing about this (my family) is bad... I love them to death and I am happy. I am just tired. Tired, but happy. Defensive as it may sound I really am happy. But I am always tired, physically and mentally.

Work has always and will forever be a blessing. I am happy and contented with my work. I am thankful that during the trying times, the economic turmoil, the financial crisis – I have a job. I am satisfied but most of the time stressed and tired. Maybe because of the load, maybe because of the scheduling, maybe because of a lot of things. Defensive again as it may sound, I am happy and thankful of the job that makes me tired.

Because of my demanding family and job I am left with very little time for my friends. I am blessed with different group of friends – my best friend, the guy, my college kada (the jologs & the guys), my HS friends, my work friends. I may not see them all very often but we always keep in touch.

I am enumerating my blessings because I am grateful. The last year may give yawn a yawn (that’s how boring it is) but it made me ponder on what is really important in life.

As I look back, there is nothing from it that I would change. My life may lack the lustre of a myriad color wheel but it was a life well lived.

still here

yes I am.

I am also excited about...Josh's bday celeb...next month...lots & lots of good movies in theaters...more & more.

PS: Next month's International Book fair yipee!!! I have read the books I'm supposed to read that is why I can attend, hah!

1933-2009

Not a single dry Filipino eye in the last 6 days... a historical event that sadly will make us all miss a great woman.

Photo is not mine, I stole it okay? I got it from the web, peace out!

Dina(h) and Dino

Belated happy birthday Dines and happy birthday (today) to Dinercs.

God bless you both :)

photo taken at Omakase (advance celeb dinner for Dinah's day)

Hello 2010

You might think that I am probably very excited for 2009 to end and for 2010 to arrive. I am not and I don’t feel any indifference as well. Let’s just say that I expect 2010 to be here any moment now the same way 6 months of 2009 passed without me noticing it. It was that fast that I didn’t have the time to think analyze and plan at all.

Time flies when you’re having fun so they say and in my opinion time runaway from me. Time is always in a rush and is running all the time. Oh well we can’t do anything about its phase.. but we can always make it worthwhile.

Enjoy the week everyone!

PS: Happy Birthday Dines!!!