I was about to just account the details of my Vancouver trip, the usual, it was for business and I was there to do a job. I wasn’t able to even have a decent tour because it rained most afternoons and if it doesn’t I was inside the conference hall doing my work. It was my first “more than 5 hours” trip, a major travel if you know what I mean. It was in North America for crying out loud. I was decided to tell the trip in the same manner that I do all the time until something changed my mind.
On the flight going home I watched We Bought A Zoo, it was on the plane’s entertainment channel. I was crying the whole time mid end of the movie to the tune of Sigur Ros’ Hoppipolla. I was crying to Matt Damon. I don’t know why at first. It could be because I was touched by the story, I miss my family, I miss my husband.
I tried not to be too emotional then it struck me, how often do we have those 20 seconds of embarrassment to have the courage flow? How often do we let ourselves go out there, make a crazy adventure, say something stupid and just act foolish? Honestly the answer, well my answer is zero. I always had it calculated. I always have a plan, not just A but up to Z.
Most of us didn’t have our normal emotional childhood, this is not about our literal childhood but the normal stages we have to go through to have the emotional adulthood. It is not being immature but something to do with emotional preparedness. We often deny ourselves of some random act of rolling with the punches, we always make sure that we thought about things and before we even commit an act we already know what the aftermath is. I often would question the word “aftermath” in these situation since they didn’t happen after but before.
I may not make any point (as always) here but what I want to happen is for me to give in to things that are not heavily thought of. That I should give to a little foolishness once in a while to see what would the real aftermath be.
So what I’m basically telling myself here is to let loose, what’s bound to happen will happen and as Matt Damon said in the movie, when you fall in love, real hard it is once in a life time. When you feel something strong towards something – be it for your career, your plan for the day or even what your heart is telling you to tweet about and write in your blog, GO FOR IT!
I like my job but I don’t see myself retiring to it. I have ups & down here and there with regards to it but I get by. But after crying a lot because of it I have decided to do it as long as I’m okay and the minute I’m not I will walk out. If I was asked yesterday if this is a possibility I’ll say no because I still have a lot of responsibility and I cannot lose this job yet but hell, I will find a new one. It may not be something as high paying but it’ll be something I love and loves me back.
I want to have a massage when I arrive in Manila, I’ll go I will not feel guilty about it anymore (this is a different story reserved for later). And if I want to tweet that you, yes you, are a fool not to talk to me, your one true friend who cares for you and actually loves you then I will (or maybe I already did).
We live in a world of uncertainties, I could be dead in a few days or while aboard this plane (knock on wood), we’ll never know. So it is okay to loosen up, let down some guard, remove the tight hair bun and let the wind blew it. It’s okay to cry, be depressed but at least talk to a friend. It is okay to be a cynic but don’t make it a living. It is okay to cry, it is okay to laugh, it is okay to let go. It is okay to open up, hit the ground but get up. It is okay to be disappointed, but don’t give up. It is okay to rely on someone, it won’t make you less of a independent person that you already are. It is okay to be turned down, you can try the second up to gazillionth time. It is okay to fail, the world won’t end because of it. There’s a time and place for everything.
My hubby and I would talk about it most of the time, how we’re not in a rush to start a family but it would be a bonus if we get one early on our marriage. How every period feels like a miscarriage but we console ourselves with the fact that the big guy up there still would want us to go to Europe first and have fun. We talked about how I really miss my best friends. He said absence makes the heart grow fonder and because I love them I let them use their wings to fly. We talked about me being a control freak. And it make sense, it took Matt Damon to make me remove my bun and helmet in the form of denial.
Today as I write this on the very flight that would bring me back to reality I made a decision, that upon ground arrival I will be the coolest version of me. I will let loose, I will let go, I will love more and I will live my life because a great man gave up his for me – for all of us. He took my cross from me so there is no reason to feel a heavy load.
Today, I will not feel guilty or be thrifty with the way I live. Today I will be happy no matter what. I will be more accepting, more understanding, more forgiving.
This is the day I am reborn.
Make this holy week holiday a time for reflection. Rest, lift it up to God and free your mind.
The last 3 days feels more like a HM compared to the holiday we spent in SG and Langkawi. Maybe because of the scenery and the relax atmosphere in our hometown. I am so glad I went home to my hubby this Chinese New Year.
I miss going home here. When I was in college I would go home the minute the last exam for the term is done. I would queue in bus stations and take “chance passenger” status just to be home. And during enrolment I would be stuck with new classmates because I was a late enrolee, no more spot is available from my old block. I would stretch my vacation every opportunity I have. It was during those long breaks that Warren and I would talk, chat for countless hours (as friends) because he’s on vacation too. He’ll drop by our house every afternoon after his work from his Dad’s warehouse – the very same warehouse I am in today while writing this blog entry.
I miss my parents of course, on the first morning I was here I was almost in tears (okay I admit I cried not “almost”), things are different in this side of town compared to the usual mornings I am accustomed to. But W did his best to make me feel at home. The whole household as a matter of fact, MIL & FIL are so nice. I like it here. If not for my parents & career in Manila I would settle here in a heartbeat. Hubby would need not persuade me to stay put.
My husband and I are in a long distance relationship when we were still boyfriends and girlfriends. Now that we’re married, we still are in this setup. Yes we always talk that things would change once we have kids. And even without he gave me 2 years to enjoy my career, he didn’t change a thing. 2 years from now we will revalidate what to do with our family even if it would still be just the two of us (minus kids). The guy I married is that kind and selfless. His unconditional love made me think twice before whining. His patience and thoughtfulness (not to mention generosity) makes me hold back with the harsh words trying to escape my mouth. I am lucky. The Higher Ups has been so kind to me.
This emo entry is for my baby W, Happy 1st month Panget! I love you! What I wrote was nauseatingly cheesy but I don’t care, it’s only once in my life that I get the chance to celebrate how deeply in love I am because I just got married last month (hehehe).
And to my fellow sheep ladies, this year (Water Dragon) is still our year (or yours)… love will bloom for the lady sheep this year… best time to get married they said. Kung Hei Fat Choi boys & girls. I’m off to see my husband this weekend. Happy me!
It’s confirmed, our very own wedding photographer was also the photographer of O & K in their engagement session and on their actual wedding yesterday in Batangas J.
Yes I’m back after days of snoozing from the blogosphere. Here’s my entry for the year, MY HAPPY NEW YEAR, a chismax about our photographer. Well it made me really giddy cos I’m in the middle of doing my own preparation as well. I really love NU, his shots are really bright, sunny, happy, cheerful (I know the adjectives are almost the same). Whenever I look at his photos - I smile, that’s how happy he can make me through his art. I wish I could look oh so pretty also when it’s my turn to be on his spotlight for my own Kodak moment. This is how happy W made me when we made the decision of booking NU.
After this week my wediste and this blog will be back in the game. I’ll be posting new entries after we booked the other important stuff this weekend. I cannot wait to have our excel file updated as well. W has been going on and on about the budget (hehehe I’ve been giving him balloon versions of the budget, been buffering it A LOT so that he raise it haha!).
I really love Thursdays. It’s almost the weekend! Yey!
I was driving to work early this morning when the topic for the radio show I frequently listen to is to complete the sentence “I _________eat_______, I pray that _________ and I love________”. The topic was of course inspired by the book turned movie starring Julia Roberts, Eat Pray Love.
I have been dying to write news here for some time now, I had a birthday week, W & my bestfriend Luchie was in town and me and my boyps Mark & Yong are closer than ever. Of course there’s this celeb with my J girls and 2 get togethers with friend Jo (in 2 weeks we met twice, this is shocking knowing how busy he is). The bookfair, expos, John Mayer rainy concert, the preps and other stuff. I have a full schedule every week that I wasn’t able to jog anymore or watch the 1st 2 episodes of TARA 4 (I was able to watch the rerun of the 2nd epi though). Not that I’m complaining but I’m glad I am not stressed – yet.
Sad to say I cannot discuss EAT in a very colourful and enticing manner. The actual topic for EAT is actually the NOT part as in I am not eating for the past 1 & a half week already. Me and my loyal dietmate Rovs is on our nth attempt at SBD. Our first SBD was really successful, it was 2 years ago our next attempts failed miserably and this time I can say we may not be that successful (again) on weight loss but it is working for us. So for the eating part I am not happy. How I miss to munch junk food and sweets. The rice I don’t miss that much but the bread! I see them every morning, the chocolates, I see them every night. But no pain no gain right? Plus it is not healthy so I am now anti-carbo loading, calories shoving and sugar infusion. I don’t know where this ambitious attempt to be healthy will take me but nevertheless there is no harm in trying.
I PRAY for a lot of things lately. I pray for my family, their safety and health. I pray for my job, my colleagues, my friends. And when I pray I thank the Lord for the blessings. But the thing I prayed hard for these past few days is for discernment, not over W because I know I’m sure but for the choices that we’re making. The Lord granted me a happy heart and I am truly grateful. I am humbled in saying that it was His will, we are just mere followers. I am continuously praying and hoping that everything will be for the best, every decision is for our happiness.
And LOVE, I love my life and the everyone in it! I just hope the good things never ends.
I am so excited to meet up with friends Rhei & Dines later today. I have this mini project to which I’ll be needing their help and talent. Also I am so thankful to this new egroup I joined, the members have been helping each other big time, as in going out of their ways to find each a better solution and suggestion to everything under the sun. I love the w@wies!
It’s almost the weekend. Bye bye for now but here are some photos from the past week that I would love to share:
Bantayan Is., Cebu
I don’t care if it’s not a holiday next Friday or on Monday because declared by the gov't or not, I WILL BE ON HOLIDAY!
I am so looking forward to next week’s escapade, so glad that Rhei invited me to go to her hometown, Dines and other good friends will be coming as well plus Boyps. It will be my & W’s first plane ride together (OA as if hours ang flight, so what?). It’s my first time in Cebu and I am so excited with the beach! I can already hear the waves (or was it the humming sound of the air conditioner?). Whatever, I am all set (not packed though I am not that over & eagerly excited naman, I'm trying to control myself).
Please, please St. Clare, don’t let the sun shy away next weekend J
I’ve been busy, happy, sad, happy again, stressed, happy, and crazy lately reason why I haven’t posted anything on this blog until today. I am writing this not to announce that I’m back but just to send out love and little recaps of what happened to me in the last 2 months.
After Marinduque, I’ve been to 2 more beaches (Puerto Galera and Bellarocca) with family and friends and one trip to Lucban Quezon to witness the Pahiyas Festival.
Here are some photos that I would like to share.
Still I’m breathing… I would like to say hi to those who still read my craziness. I’m still here lovies, just busy. Happy most of the time, stressed on the other half of those “most of the time”. But still I am blessed. I’ve been with a great family for so & so decades (hehehe secret), in the friendship of one beautiful bestfriend for nearly 2 decades. In the company of real good friends for years & years now, and in love for some 200ish days. Who could ask for more? Eherm, me? Still? Hehehe, Lord knows what my heart desires. Maybe because He thinks I can still handle things that is why I am still here.
musicians of the Putong Ceremony
Abling sisters with their wonderful Mom and Angel the cutest baby boy :)
seawall scene
Cagpo Beach
summer lovin'
beach walk
my own Centurion Soldier
Happy Monday boys & girls – say NO to Monday sicknesses. Peace Out!
