Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Okay here we go...

The weather (especially the rain), the holidays & long weekends, a birthday coming up, DVDs of movies and TV series – all contributed to a sudden inspiration that made me write again. I’ve zoned out for weeks (months) now, posting nothing but pictures and breathing entries (messages informing that I am still alive). I’ve attended a lot of events with friends and families that I usually write stuff about but since I’ve been zoning out and zombying (not an official word) I didn’t post anything of these said events here. I have a lot of time if I want too, having all of those holidays have given me ample of time to write but because I was too tired (and lazy) to do so, all I did was just formulate sentences & paragraphs in my head. I never reached the actual writing part.

Ranking my news and not so new blah blah, I have to start with the shallowest bit of info. Years ago I was hooked on Tru Calling because I love Luc. I stopped watching when he died, Matthew Bomer was the only thing that got me addicted on that show in the first place. So after several years (4 years) he’s back as Bryce Larkin on Chuck. I was uber happy (shallow I told you) when I saw him... so I’m dividing my attention between him and my new love Chuck (Zachary Levi).

When one ages in any acceptable fashion (be it gracefully, dramatically, drastic, pathetic, whatever) you are forced to look back at the past year that went by and to ask the question what happened. You may remember happy gatherings, surprise parties, a special person, a very fabulous gift, something you have bought, something painful, an embarrassing situation, an accident, a love story, sweet words, proud moments, monumental achievements and other things that made a topsy-turvy impact in your another year older life. When I was younger (than I am today) I called it the birthday jitters but now that I am old (yes older) jitters seem immature. The word jitters seems to lose its glitter (jitters glitters hehehe it rhymes). Two weeks from now I’ll be stepping into another race, end of the line for the 20s and I am at that moment when I am forced to ask myself what I did the past year.

I have realized that the way I am to my family changed a lot big time. This is one part of my life where I don’t know how to feel, I am already numb (in a good way I guess). Don’t get me wrong, nothing about this (my family) is bad... I love them to death and I am happy. I am just tired. Tired, but happy. Defensive as it may sound I really am happy. But I am always tired, physically and mentally.

Work has always and will forever be a blessing. I am happy and contented with my work. I am thankful that during the trying times, the economic turmoil, the financial crisis – I have a job. I am satisfied but most of the time stressed and tired. Maybe because of the load, maybe because of the scheduling, maybe because of a lot of things. Defensive again as it may sound, I am happy and thankful of the job that makes me tired.

Because of my demanding family and job I am left with very little time for my friends. I am blessed with different group of friends – my best friend, the guy, my college kada (the jologs & the guys), my HS friends, my work friends. I may not see them all very often but we always keep in touch.

I am enumerating my blessings because I am grateful. The last year may give yawn a yawn (that’s how boring it is) but it made me ponder on what is really important in life.

As I look back, there is nothing from it that I would change. My life may lack the lustre of a myriad color wheel but it was a life well lived.

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