Yey!

Yes finally, the long weekend we’ve all been waiting for… for some it’s the weekend to reunite with families and friends because it’s the All Souls & Saints week. But for me, Jenny, Joel & Jerome – it’s the weekend of fun and adventure. Finally – we’ll be flying to our Disney adventure tomorrow. Can’t wait for the day to end. Mickey & friends here we come!!!

Juanna's Natural Prozac

The list would include:

SUNSHINE
I love the sun, I love it when it’s summer (just don’t give me too much heat okay?). I dread rainy days and I really hate it. The sun gives me a cheery disposition and it totally affects my day. A perfect day would be a sunny one with a slight breeze just enough to make you feel cool and blow your hair a little (wag naman yung “mahangin ba sa labas” worth questioning). Then a stroll outdoors, with the person you wanna be with (wink wink). On the other hand even without the guy, it’ll still be a goody day for me just don’t hide the sun.

MY NEPHEW JUDE
Yep another emotion stabilizer, I truly adore this young man (yep he’s all grown up, I’m betting he’ll up-tall me in a year or two). He was our cute little darling when I was growing up – he’s the guy who stopped me from messing things up in this legendary life that I have. He’s an angel but is a rascal too. He’s intelligent and smart, he’s almost perfect except for his mood swings.

CHEER UP SONGS
The compilation would include Weezer’s Island in the Sun, Breaking Benjamin’s Rain, Natalie Cole’s Everlasting Love, Los Lonely Boys’ Heaven, Michelle Branch’s Breathe, believe it or not Hillary Duff’s So Yesterday (OMG, did I just divulge this one?), Songs of the 80’s (yep yep yep female power of the 80s with the likes of Debbie Gibson, Tiffany, The Bangles, Bananarama, Gloria Estefan & so on).

BOOKS and COMICS
Since I love books, I won’t dare enumerate titles cos I could go on forever but for comic books it’ll be Archie’s, Calvin & Hobbes and Garfield.

THE DVD PLAYER
Super reliable – guaranteed to entertain you without asking for anything in return ;)

YUMMY
Of course food, nourishes the body, calms the soul. Pasta, mocha drinks (frappe, hot, plain or white – anything!), chocolate cakes and rocky road ice cream, oreo & milk, yoghurt what else? Hmmm this is making me hungry.

FOLKS
Ma & Pop, no explanation needed.

HERMANOS & HERMANAS
Yep my sisters & brothers in craziness. Ziella for the non-stop forwarded messages. Funny stories with Jenny & Pen – fashionistas & glamour icons. Bitchiness of Luchie, love you! Uniqueness of Mark – he finds being unemployed very amusing. Love/Hate story of Saree – I will never get tired of listening to you my dear. Gab’s worries – everything will be alright soon darling. Coffee buds (& other friends) – Richard & Joel (Allan & April & Ryan) – the World’s longest buffet experiencing was a disaster! Shell ladies Jeng & Dinah – miss you mi hermanas. Myra – good luck on your mid-terms, kick those Canadians' asses. Joel Angelo who never failed to make me laugh, kahit corny ka… and so on... if I failed to mention anyone who has been crazy these past few days, believe me you’ve been a Prozac to me – you calmed and relaxed me, I thank you for it.

Decaying Pics of my Childhood

I was home in Bicol last weekend and I was able to dig all my basuras at home. I was re-arranging our family library of photos when I came across my albums. I flipped through the pages and was laughing hysterically on some yucky photos of mine. I chose to post a few here, hehehe yucky lalo na yung with ate & kuya. Enjoy, roll in laughter at my expense don't worry this one's free.

BULAGA!!! 

hmmmm 

Muwahahaha! Ate, Kuya & lil Me 

with ate during her Kindergarten commencement (hanep do ng sis ko noh?) 

It's Complicated

Different faces of one’s Friendster’s Status:

Married Pretty Chick, It’s Complicated
Definition: I am married but I don’t want other people to know, who knows may maging interesado pa sa akin ;-)

Rockstar, Single
Definition: I am not married so I am definitely single. Yeah I’m in a relationship but groupies are welcome & besides I have an image to maintain, girls dig our gigs

Kikay Girl, It’s Complicated
Definition: I’m in a relationship pero my boo & I have separate lives and we agreed that we can still meet other people (kaya mo yan? Hehehe)

Eloquent Lady, It’s Complicated
Definition: I’m not in a relationship but my ex & I are pretty much still together

Mysterious Girl, In a Relationship
Definition: Yes I don’t have a BF (after 100 denials), this status makes guys go away, stops them from messaging me and asking me for my details (taray!)

Almost Mr & Mrs, Married
Definition: Would like to be married, thinks they're married but they are not

Feeling Astig, Domestic Parnership
Definition: F. Astig doesn’t even know what domestic partnership is but to him it sounds cool, oh well goodluck!

Clueless Lady, Married
Definition: Feel na feel na super inlove sila ni Fafa little did she knows na Fafa naman is todo deny that they’re a couple

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, In a Relationship
Definition: Would like the world to know that he’s not a loser, he has only one picture of himself on his photo section, all of them were his’ GF “kuno’s” yes all 24 of the pics

Johnny Bravo, In a Relationship
Definition: Sorry girls, I’m taken (we all don't care!)

And so on…

Last night when I was contemplating about this topic I have lots of brilliant ideas, hehehe the moment has passed me by already, sigh. Now here’s the last one I can think of:

Anne, It’s Complicated
Real Life Confession: Kala ko may BF ako only to find out na wala pala hehehe pero feeling ko naman I’m in love everyday kaya ganun na rin siguro yun. Now I would love to say I’m single kaso lang I hate questions from people, I hate it when they ask why kaya “It’s Complicated” explains everything for me (hehehe) when they ask who’s your BF I’ll say wala then they’ll ask why my reply would be “It’s Complicated” they’ll ask another why (oh di ba friends, relatives and acquaintances are really nosy sometimes) I’ll say mahabang kwento then that’s the end of it. Huwahahaha!

All About Love

Once you have loved, you will always love. For what's in your mind may escape but what's in your heart will remain forever.
- Anonymous

Warning: For some, this may all sound too mushy, when you gag please have the heart not to tell me about it ;-)

I have just spent my weekend in the company of family & friends. It was my parent’s Ruby anniversary yesterday and myself & my siblings threw them a surprise dinner party last Saturday night. Everything went fine, a few mishaps but everything was in order. My Ma was really surprised, first because she was not expecting me to be home that weekend and then at the restaurant she was really bolted from the blue. My Dad was sensing things will happen - he saw our invitations at his car (palpak si Kuya nakalimutan, tsk tsk). After the party, my Mom thanked and hugged me. I told her that’s the least we could do for their love and support through out the years.

40 years is something. I am truly blessed cos my parents are still together and will forever be together – they can’t live without each other. They are not really mushy but you can see their deep love & concern for each other. I can recall when my Dad had an accident, somebody came to our house to give us the news… I saw grief & fear and everything negative enveloped my mother in a mist that spelled out misery. And when my Mom got sick, on several talks I had with my Pop, he revealed his fears and concerns to me, how he would like to see my mother get better ASAP. I can see how they complimented each other, I am a witness on how my Pa is the yin of my Ma’s yang and vice versa. Looking at them from where I was sitting last Saturday truly misted my eyes. It was sort of a semi-reunion as well for me, my family & my relatives. Now we are looking forward to having the golden anniversary where my Ma & Pa said they would renew their vows.

I dunno why I cannot write so eloquently about this, perhaps because this is something so personal. There are a lot of things that I would love to tell people about my parents, how great and special they are, etc - but it seems like I cannot successfully do so without ending up or even right in the middle drowned in tears.

I started my entry with a quotation and would love to end it with another one. I have been praying for the soul mate my Ma found in my Pa and the love story flourishing like theirs. I guess I could never duplicate their story but I am hoping to have a unique one of my own soon. To be in love is a great gift, to fall in love is a different story. You should be understanding, open & trusting to the idea that when you fall – the one will be there to catch you or if he’s not pray that he’s preparing a safer place to land. As Frankie would say (& I love quoting her all the time) there are a lot of mediocre things in the world but love shouldn’t be one of it. Cliché but I guess I am still a believer of love. We can have pitfalls and mess, we can have bad lucks and shattered hearts but do not pass on an opportunity to love and be loved.

And to you, you could be reading or you could have NO idea that this blog exist but I want you to know that when our paths crossed it’ll be an entry on this page. I won’t say please hurry, I just want you safe when you find your way to me.

There is nothing love can't heal - Hanson, Underneath

Hard Copies of my Weekend Memories

I have posted some pictures from my weekend which was spent at home in Bicol. The trip was really tiring cos I spent more time on the road than at our house but it was worth it. My Ma & Pa's Ruby anniversary was truly an event to remember.

charming Ysobelle 

my Ma & Pop, 40 years of unconditional love ;-) 

my little rascals L-R: Jude, Josh, Nini, Shaine & Jian (standing) 

Jude & Josh 

with my pretty niece Shaine 

Pop & Me 

It's A Small World After All

Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.
-Sofia Serrano, Vanilla Sky

October is United Nations month, I remember back in the days during my elementary & high school years, this is a month where there are flags everywhere within our schools – almost all teachers would require us to pass flag projects for the partial fulfillment in our subjects. I remember always opting for Japan or Italy hehehe dali lang gawin kase. In lieu with this celebration I noticed a coincidence, not that I celebrate UN month every October its just that I was able to watch foreign films these last few days, 3 of which are worth the special mention.

SPAIN: ABRE LOS OJOS
Ofcourse, the original Vanilla Sky, I am not a Cruise & Cruz fan but when I watched Vanilla Sky some years ago I liked it. It’s number one in the ranks of Butterfly Effect and Eternal Sunshine for the Spotless Mind, these 3 makes the triumvirate of eccentricity and originality. It's an intelligent movie that will make you think & sympathize and will make you nod in agreement on almost all heavy lines. We are all searching for the answers on questions like “Do you believe in God?” or “What is happiness for you?” Abre Los Ojos is something you should watch especially if you’re an art film enthusiast. This is the only movie that intrigued me from the Spanish Film Festival, aside from the fact that it was Hollywood-ize - the lead actor Eduardo Noriega is a pretty guy. Hehehe you know since he’s appealing to the eye, it was worth watching. Penelope Cruz was not yet anorexic in that film (is she anorexic? Hehehe payat kase).




INDIA: BRIDE and PREJUDICE
A stereotype of Bollywood movies – songs & dances are present BUT this one is really entertaining. The characters deliver their lines with a twist of wittiness. The set is really colorful. You won’t be bored I promise.



CHINA: LIFE, TRANSLATED
A movie with a lesson, this is not an A-type movie but it will make you realize that language can never be a barrier. Love and friendship can bridge the gap.

Rains Clouding Up My Head

And will you tell all your friends you've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin, this all was only wishful thinkin
-Taking Back Sunday, Cute without the E

It has been raining all afternoon in the past days, I dunno why but not for the cliché that rains depicts sadness, I am still feeling blue. I am one person whom I know that truly abhors rains, drenched streets & pesky sidewalks. I just totally can’t get this hatred out of me. I am just glad that the rain was never a person cos if so, I can picture him as an a-hole of a man hehehe, always ruining my day.

I woke up real early today, I can picture that it’ll be a beautiful day, a little less great than my day yesterday I think. I was up & circling my house early, looking at stuff that needs fixing before I prepare myself for work. My morning turned out fine. Then just minutes ago when I looked at the window it was drizzling already. I can now imagine a rainy dismissal from work for the day.

Well I don’t really hate the rain come to think of it. Maybe we were just caught up in bad timings (most of the time). There are rare occasions when I welcome the rain, it’ll be an afternoon on a Saturday or Sundays when no work should be done outside the house. I just don’t like to be around the rain most of the time.

The truth hurts… words from Jesse & Celine

“You can never replace anyone because everyone is made up of such beautiful specific details.”
“Memories are wonderful things, if you don't have to deal with the past.”
“I guess when you're young, you just believe there'll be many people with whom you'll connect with. Later in life, you realize it only happens a few times.”
“Life's hard. It's supposed to be. If we didn't suffer, we'd never learn anything.”

A Series of Fortunate Events for Joel

While I am soaked in unlucky circumstances (read: an addition to my unfortunate maladies, one band I am intrigued to watch will be at ATC on Saturday and Sugarfree will be performing as well on the 29th – I am cursed! I’ll be out of town when Hale performs & out of the country when it’s Sugarfree’s turn), my good friend Jo is being showered with luck. Apart from a shinning career, a new car & me as his loyal & one of a kind friend (hehehe some guys have all the luck – lol), he was really on the edge in acquiring his passport (even with a middle name problem he got one! – his charms worked kuno), a fully booked HK flight accepted him (back & foth pa!) and the fully booked hotel & package accomodated him (with the exemption of the over night stay in China). San ka pa? Oh well he deserves this vacation. Like him, Jenny, Jerome & myself deserves it too.

A Shower of Unfortunate Events

I’ve been counting my bad lucks and I’m beginning to run out of fingers for them. On my precious chance to go to Quiapo (because I rarely go there) aside from running errands for my Pop who thinks I’m a son instead of a daughter, the only consolation I can ever have were the DVDs that I can buy. Only to be there again in a despicable time – there is an ongoing raid. Buildings were being searched and you can only buy from vendors pushing their carts running away from the cops. Actually I was amazed by how raids were being held in Quiapo, it was peaceful hehehe never violent, ibang klase. I was busy browsing at the merchandise of this one Muslim manang - too bad her items were not what I really wanted to buy. I could rant forever on this but I was able to buy 6 DVDs, pagtyatyagaan ko na lang (because it turned out that 2 out of 6 were gold mines).

My sole reason for going to Quiapo was to purchase a car amplifier & 3 way oval speakers for my Pop’s car. Yes, I am the daughter without any electrical or technical knowledge of amp specs was sent to Raon and was expected to buy the best products. I devised a plan on how not to be misjudged and intimated for my lack of wisdom on what I was about to buy. I thought that if I sound confident & cocky the sales person would never under estimate my ability (hehehe). My plan was running along smoothly. The sales person – a lady – called the male boss to assist me. The owner was testing the amp and was connecting the speakers. I asked if it was 2000 watts eeerrr I was wrong, my first mistake. Arghh, it was Pop & Kuya who said 2000 watts and no such thing exist. Hay gulay okay I said I’ll settle for a lower one how many watts is that? “1,600 watts 4 channels”, okay I’ll take it I said (what the hell are channels for? I thought it was an amp – for sound quality right? Now they’re talking about channels OMG). Cool sounds, I can feel the speakers blaring not just breathing. Then a cute Chinese guy stood by my side. He was asking about the wattage of the amp, I said 1,600 (hehehe alam ko na noh!), then I think I fell asleep that moment on cos the guy was blabbering about specs, quality and God-knows-everything-I-need-to-know-about-amp-I-should-learn-it-from-him. I was doomed!!! I don’t know anything about what he’s grilling me about. I tried to focus, I nod occasionally to be polite. I was praying for an earth shattering earthquake cos I need the earth to swallow me whole. They guy was really cute & was looking at me intently – discussing the amp. I hate him. He made me feel so stupid. The only thing I was able to say was “talaga? Okay I need to go, thanks for the info”. I was walking as fast as I could, dragging the boxes that were really heavy. Waaaah, maaga pa I think I will still encounter unlucky events on my way home. I was still contemplating on the next move when the rain poured. I was literally soaking wet – protecting the amp & speakers, hailing a cab and a jeep – whatever comes first.

The winner was a jeepney driven by an old mama who was kind enough to give us rags for the wet seats. I was praying for Eris to go away, I cannot take anymore discord. I just want to sit back & relax and be home. I think my prayers were answered I was able to ride a bus going to Alabang from Lawton without any disruptions. From Alabang I hailed a cab then I was home. I attended to my errands for my Pop early because Ma & I were going to shop for some few things at Festival. My Ma has been urging me to shop for the clothes that I will bring on our out of the country trip but as usual I’m in my kuripot self which really paid off. I was able to come out with good buys except for one, the expensive jacket that I really don’t like. I agreed to it because my Ma insisted that I buy one pronto. I settled for it because I think my mother was growing tired of my browsing from one shop to another. Oh well I think it was just a minor incident compared to the fantasy/humiliation I shared with the China Man.

And the series goes on... my Ma went back home to Bulan yesterday and Meng & I were back to sharing everything with the TV. Yes, our TV – the only witness to anything that happens inside our home. It was the sole witness to a lot of tears, laughter’s, meals, arguments and others that I don’t want to remember anymore. The familiar scenario is back, we splurge ourselves in front of the TV, with me are plates, discs, pillows, my favorite glass and chips while Meng press the keys of her cell phone, often times mistaken as the remote control. We were kinda used to having Ma around. Now were back to instant lifestyle – no more home cooked meals & back to instant meals. This I may say is the highlight of my unfortunate events.

Jesse & Celine

I watched Before Sunrise last year in preparation for my viewing the second installment. I didn’t like the movie the way I’m supposed to that is why I opted not to watch Before Sunset. It was all talk, I was surprised at myself because I love chatty movies, and I really do. I linger on lines & dialogues, one can see stars from my eyes with my dreamy look when I watch talkies on movies. But Before Sunrise bored me to death. I attempted to watch it again last night and was again surprised because I liked it. Weird I thought. Then I tried recalling the state I was when I first watched it. I drove my mind back to memory lane. Then I figured out why.

I was in a relationship then, in short I have a love life in full bloom. There were lines that I do not fully comprehend, there were lines that I do not agree with. My ideology was way way different from what I have last night. I have realized that I was happy with someone before and now I am happy by myself. I see things differently in each situation. I wasn’t fully empathizing with Jesse and Celine cos I have a special someone with me and there were no complications. I thought what they were experiencing was too theatrical. It wasn’t real life. But then last night I saw things clearer than I did last year. When last year I thought they were over reacting, last night I saw that they were just scared. They were afraid of doing the wrong things. They were afraid of making their hearts bleed. Which is pretty normal, who would want a broken heart right? I still think that it was just a movie – it doesn’t happen in real life but if it’s any consolation I know how they feel. And it is not everyday that you were able to meet your soul mate.

And tonight, I am all set to watch Before Sunset (again).

To All Those Who Believe in the Path of Love

It is my humble belief that God has many names but just one face and it is to that Divine Spirit that I am grateful for this moment.
- Billy Corgan – THE FUTURE EMBRACE CD acknowledgment

I would like to quote the lines I love from various Corgan songs. I think it would best define my moment and would tell the truth about how I feel. Often times when one is lost and lonely we find solace in things or people. I am no exemption, I will not be ashamed to admit that there are more times I am lost and baffled then happy and content. There are more times in my life that I am stupid rather than wise… although I do not regret anything in this life I sometimes wish that I should have handled things better than I did and better than I was expected to be. I am talking non-sense and I am indeed perturbed. I own a weary soul shouting to be laid unto rest. I own a battered heart waiting to be mended. I am indeed full of angst wanting to be silenced.

It’s the same I see your face again. I know my frame of mind you ain't got to be so blind, am I so blind – blind to believe? … but what does it bring if I aint got you?
-To Love Somebody

I’m ready oh Lord I’m patient now, whoever I was waiting to be I already am… I’m ready ready to love.
- I’m Ready

Tell me alienation hasn’t found you out too few condemnations fill your heart with doubt.
- I’m Ready

Everytime I start reaching out to find you loneliness abounds… only you remind me that only love can blind. Every time I start emptiness confounds meloneliness astounds me… it’s me and you in all I choose.
- Pretty, Pretty Star

Segue: I'm looking for a hitman, anyone who knows one let me know. May papatrabaho ako hehehe.