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I’m supposed to be busy, well it’s month’s end/start and in our office it only means one thing: REPORTS.
First batch of the reports that I’m supposed to be checking and sent out to clients arrived early this morning. If I am at my usual self I’d probably be caught checking it the soonest it arrived but unfortunately I don’t feel like doing it. It’s Thursday and supposed to be my favorite day but I can’t see anything likable about this day. I feel so cranky, probably because my sleeping problems are recurring. I hate feeling like this so I decided to just check my Friendster messages and clean the inbox. I’ve been planning to do this for months now but I don’t have the time, that or I just simply forgot to do it. Anyway, a message was waiting for me on my inbox, it was the reply from this 19 year old guy who writes really well. I asked him if I could linked up his blog site (see last link below “Carlo”) – this kiddo has incredible writing talents, will rave about him on a separate entry. So there I was reading and sweeping my flooding inbox, I started from the last page, messages that dates back to 2003 (most of them are messages that I really kept there for the purpose of an afternoon like this, that when I am bored I’ll read them again hehehe). I read all of the rotting messages again and bingo, brings back memories from 3 years ago.
There were funny stories in each messages, others were nice but then connections I had with those people either progressed or was erased. There is this one message with “hayup” as subject. You’d think the sender is mad, yes he is but on a different level. The content of the letter simply said “bwisit, ang ganda mo”. The writer was obviously fond of me (hehehe, he’s a friend… used to be, I guess we’re still friends). I can’t help but think if he means it or he wrote those to spite me. Old emotions, old feelings resurfaced. I weighed down the importance of each message, I read them and re-read them so that I could decide if they belong to the inbox or to the trash. There is this old message from someone dear, he found me in Friendster and was really excited about it. An old classmate, a former schoolmate, a neighbor, an old friend’s brother, a stranger, my niece’s childhood friend, a guy whose face is familiar, somebody I know from my hometown… different people who shared different stories with me.
A gradeschool friend of mine messaged me December 9, 2003 then on Dec 10, 11 & 12 almost everybody from the group we had way back sent me a message. That was how it all started and now I am enjoying the company of these people. They were the oldest close friends I have - friends whom I know since grade 1, lost contact with in high school and college but when we decided to meet up the closeness never disappeared it was always there.
There were messages too from old crushes, a couple of guys who never had a clue that they were the apple of my eyes way back. Their messages were short & sweet, birthday greetings, short messages just asking how I have been and what I am up to. There were also messages from friends who are now in different parts of the world, close and not so close friends. Messages from the ex, cousin of the ex, friend of the ex who eventually became a friend too. There were so many memories stored that as I go along reading them all I noticed that I haven’t sent even one to the trash folder.
There were messages too that reads: “ATE JOAN, IMPT PLZ READ THIS” or “HEY CUZ, PLS READ THIS” from my cousins who were like siblings and not just cousins to me.
In my 3 years of Friendstering (sounds like pestering), a lot of stories were born, a lot of memories were stored and this afternoon they all resurfaced. I dunno if I should patronize Friendster and thank them for bridging the gap between people because it is through this medium too that sad stories started in my life. This is where I found out that a crush of mine before is now married (okay, I am not that affected but I admit I sighed). This is where I saw how beautiful my competition for someone is. This is where I saw happy pictures of a guy who loves me dearly before but now he loves somebody else (I am just sad, I like him a lot but since I am pathetic I didn’t give him the chance before but I do not regret anything I guess I was just envious cos they look overly and exaggeratingly good together). This is where I found out about broken relationships and how it ended between people close to me. This is where people I love got ditched and what made them really sad is that profile of the people they so much hate is available for them to stare at.
I do not understand why I am writing about these things, maybe I’m sad. I just can’t figure out why. I miss a lot of people today. My bestfriend Luchie (who is coming home next week for 5 short days), my cousin Kuya Berns, Harry Potter, Calvin, my Pop, my Bens, my girls – Gabs, Saree, Mai, Chona, Gene, Vines and Zie, my boys – Edward, Joey, Joel, even Prof. Jerome, Marco, Dinercs, Yong, fafa Mark, Gary… my other girls Tita Kim, Jeng, Dines, Penny, Cris (the MLA Moms) and even Jen who’s just a glance away.
Friendster may not be the center of the universe, it’s just a tool that brings you to those that should be the center of your universe. And with this, I’ll end with a promise… I will write a testimonial for everybody who’s in my friends list. Huwahahaha.
PS: again I failed to romanticize this entry. How could I start writing really dramatic and end it with a smirk and a laugh?