Change

Stressed with 3 letter “s” is an understatement.  If not for the correct spelling that should be followed, my spelling would have at least 10 letter “s” in it.  I was way beyond stressed last month but I am thankful that little by little, with a few and very minute bumps here and there -- my life is pushing towards the right track.

I cannot say pass to the important things, events and situation that comes my way.  Nor could I gladly ask to lose one turn when chaos, challenges and shortcomings strike.  Growing up means facing the music, you have a choice to either follow the usual steps or create your own.  The former may mean playing it safe and the later, taking some risk.  Either way you have nothing to lose, you tried and if you don’t succeed there is still time to do it again.

Next week, another year would add to my existence.  2012 has been so nice to me.  I am blessed, loved and I’m grateful.  I may have some ups and downs with work and family but I couldn’t ask for more and I wouldn’t change a thing.  I always believe that we reap what we sow and that we would always have the best of everything we deserve.

While chatting with friend J over the weekend, maturity and growing up factor in life kept me pondering.  What happened to our childhood?  What happened to all of us in our teens?  Did it affect how we see the world today?  I didn’t find the answers until last night while doing the usual bending & stretching in our Bikram class, my favourite Yogi was the one teaching the class.  While doing the Savasana (corpse pose) he said “Embrace change and if you have a choice, move on”.  Makes sense.  Things are different now that we are older.  Nothing is easy now.  You have to work hard to get something, unlike when we were young where we were given pretty much everything we need.  These things are major changes and we cannot escape them.  What we can only do is to accept it, deal with it, or in Gino’s (the Yogi) terms – embrace it.  Generally, change is good.  It’s an improvement if you’ll see it in a positive way.  If the change is not for the better, we have to find a solution.  We have to deal with it and if all efforts were made (failed or those successful), we have to move on.  Not to forget about it but to learn from it.

In this world full of imperfections, we can always do something to make it better.  Not perfect, just better.

Midweek boys & girls.  Enjoy the rest of the week.  Keep safe & God bless everyone.

And Happy Birthday to my Kuya!

Of Unnamed Heroes and Brave Hearts

I’ve been seeing the video link of the MMDA officer over at FB for a couple of days already.  It is not my habit to open links and watch posted videos on FB unless I am directly tagged.  While here in Bulan, I always check news online because I don’t watch tv often here.  This morning I saw a news bit about the MMDA officer and that a case has already been filled.  I decided to check out the story and googled videos to find out what the news is all about.

I ended up crying.  I am so mad at the Carabuenas and my heart is bleeding for Mang Saturnino.  Often times when stuck in traffic I would see MMDA officers sweating and trying to brave the heat of the sun or coldness of the rain.  I would often wonder, “Magkano kaya sweldo ng mga yan?  I’m sure di pa kasya pampaospital pag nagkasakit.” I always hear stories of how there are abusive traffic enforces trying to get money from the traffic violators but in my years of driving, I have nothing but good experiences with them. 

I admit I’m not a perfect driver, I have committed traffic violations not because I have malicious intentions of committing them but often times because I didn’t know or I was left with no other choice but commit it.  Yes it was my “ignorance” that made me an offender and I’m not making any excuses.

I would often tell the enforcer “Manong gusto ko sanang aregluhin to kaya lang po baka mas magalit kayo sa akin.”  That’s how I always make the segue for the “areglo”.  I don’t want to end up with more violations by bribing an officer.  I would always end up going away without a ticket, without giving any money and at times being escorted by the MMDA while I go on my way from the scene.  Yes, I leave with just a “pabaong lecture” from Mamang MMDA.  I know I’m lucky, must be because I was RESPECTFUL, something that the Carabuena A-hole lacks.

In the recent Habagat floodings, I prayed for the unnamed heroes.  People we see on photos and tv helping others.  Individuals who went out of their ways, endangering their own lives just to help children, the old and the handicapped.  Same with the police force, traffic force, people who try their best to keep us, the masses whom they don’t personally know, safe.  In each day of their lives they put themselves at risk to do their jobs.  Yes it’s a living, they may have no choice but do it but still it means a lot to us.  People need rules or else chaos will follow. 

There maybe some individuals from the force who taints their uniform and the reputation of the entire organization, but let us not forget that there are more who perform their job with pride and honor.  God bless all the unnamed heroes.  God bless Mang Saturnino.  God bless the Carabuena’s as well.  We have a just and mighty Lord God, He knows what we all deserve.

It’s almost the weekend friends, enjoy the rest of the week and enjoy the long weekend.  Coding might be lifted but please be responsible while on the road.

Hello 2012 3rd Quarter!

I know I should revamp this blog or if not at least give a little attention to it.  The calendar on my page were so last, last, last year (yes 2010 or so).  Anyway I have the time today that is why I decided to write something about what I have been up to the past few months.

2 of my good friends decided to go abroad for good.. Gabs went to Abu Dhabi (magkakalat ng lagim ala Sex & the City) while Saree is now in Sweden (not sure whether to study massage Swedish style or look for the guy with the dragon tattoo).  I miss them a lot because they are my bestest college friends and they serve as my caffeine.  I may miss them and I’m sad they left but I am happy for them because they decided to live their future the way they want it to be.  So ladies, good luck.  I miss and love you both.

I’m not sure if I already mentioned that the only good thing I like about travelling is that I get to catch up on my reading.  The airports (according to my foursquare account, airports are the places I frequent lately, sorry naman I need to be in the plane to actually be somewhere noh) are now my modern library.  Because everything is in touch technology now books included, just bring your tablet/e-books and you’re good to go.  I also bring my hard copies when I travel, especially since I still have tons of unread book collecting dusts on my shelf.  I like being in our (my hubby & my) hometown because I get to read in the evenings.  Well I don’t watch a lot of TV in Bulan because a.) not all my channels are available in the local cable b.) we are staying in hubby’s granny’s house when we’re both in Bulan and the house has only 1 TV reserved for hubby (and his arghh channels)  and lastly c.) I don’t want to lounge in the sala (even if it was just me & hubby inside the house), not my thing – I would only lie around looking like I own the place inside a bedroom.  What better way to pass the time (aside from watching downloaded TV series like our fave GoT) but to read?  I was able to finish 2-3 books whenever I’m in Bulan and I so love the feeling of being able to finish a whole book.  

photo from the web

I am currently reading book 2 of EL James’ trilogy.  The book is so controversial and there a lot of discussions about it but it’s just light reading do not delve too much on erotic side if you find it so scandalous.  Thanks to friend Rhei for convincing me to read it because she said “she cried” when she was reading it so I thought it must be good.  It’s okay, not so great but I am only on book 2.  One needs to read all 3 to appreciate it.

I finally found the workout for me, its Bikram Yoga.  I have never been so sweaty in my entire life.  I’ve ran a number of marathons but not Bikram sweaty.  Let’s see how long I will like it (until sawa mode comes).  BYA studio is also kind enough to freeze my membership whenever I am away out of town or in Bicol so it’s a plus for me.  I don’t need to feel sad over not being able to fully utilizing my monthly membership because I am in Manila 3 weeks a month only.

So that's it for now boys and girls.  W arrives this Saturday.  Yehey!

Lifehouse 2.0, M & Today

When I watched Lifehouse in 2008 I was with my bestfriends, this time is more special because W, the number 1 fan of the band would be able to watch them.  My day would be packed tomorrow but I'm excited...for a million different things.

I just love this week that passed, this weekend, everything about it.

My friend M rose from a long FB pause.  Well it's not that FB is a priority but he completely spaced out for a while.  I'm just happy he loves his independence now, loves life in general.  Apir dear!

I should work now, time will be in a haste today I know.  Rhei and I will paint Makati pink (for kikay).

Happy weekend boys & girls!  God bless us all!

Barney's Bride

picture from the web

It’s been a while, I know.  I just want to drop a little note before I see the full episode where we’ll all find out (here in the Phils.) who ends up with who in HIMYM.  I know it was my girl Robin but everyone is still rooting for the Ted-Robin Tandem.  And of course Lily & Marshall’s bet is still on.  Ted will meet the kids’ mother on  Barney’s wedding but it doesn’t necessarily mean that she’ll be the love of Ted’s life because that spot was already filled, am I right?  Oh yes I know I’m right.

PS: Cobie looks so cool in Avengers but my mind can't help but anticipate in what scene will the rest of the HIMYM pop out?  I'm such a fan I know.  Catch the 1 hour special of the HIMYM season finale tonight at 8 on 2nd Ave. (This is not a paid plug).

Happy weekend boys & girls!

***JOEY***

It's not fair leaving us early, we're older than you are.

I wrote this about you in 2005. You will be missed dude, say hi to my Uncle Steph for me.

******
JOEY
******
I call Joey as the Julio ng buhay ko, yep Julio at Julia kambal ng tadhana. I dunno why this fellow seems to know a lot about me. I am so transparent in his eyes that he can see through me. There was this one instance before that he seems to understand me more than my girl friends. And just recently, he told Gabs that he thinks I like this one guy cos my eyes were different when I look at the guy. Grabe, I am so buking in front of Joey, kaya friend here’s to you – you deserve a shout out. Thanks for waiting with me last Friday, you don’t talk much but it was fun hanging out with you & babe watching is cool I guess, hehehe ginawa mo talaga akong lesbo. Natutuwa talaga ako sayo.

Reflection

I was about to just account the details of my Vancouver trip, the usual, it was for business and I was there to do a job. I wasn’t able to even have a decent tour because it rained most afternoons and if it doesn’t I was inside the conference hall doing my work. It was my first “more than 5 hours” trip, a major travel if you know what I mean. It was in North America for crying out loud. I was decided to tell the trip in the same manner that I do all the time until something changed my mind.

On the flight going home I watched We Bought A Zoo, it was on the plane’s entertainment channel. I was crying the whole time mid end of the movie to the tune of Sigur Ros’ Hoppipolla. I was crying to Matt Damon. I don’t know why at first. It could be because I was touched by the story, I miss my family, I miss my husband.

I tried not to be too emotional then it struck me, how often do we have those 20 seconds of embarrassment to have the courage flow? How often do we let ourselves go out there, make a crazy adventure, say something stupid and just act foolish? Honestly the answer, well my answer is zero. I always had it calculated. I always have a plan, not just A but up to Z.

Most of us didn’t have our normal emotional childhood, this is not about our literal childhood but the normal stages we have to go through to have the emotional adulthood. It is not being immature but something to do with emotional preparedness. We often deny ourselves of some random act of rolling with the punches, we always make sure that we thought about things and before we even commit an act we already know what the aftermath is. I often would question the word “aftermath” in these situation since they didn’t happen after but before.

I may not make any point (as always) here but what I want to happen is for me to give in to things that are not heavily thought of. That I should give to a little foolishness once in a while to see what would the real aftermath be.

So what I’m basically telling myself here is to let loose, what’s bound to happen will happen and as Matt Damon said in the movie, when you fall in love, real hard it is once in a life time. When you feel something strong towards something – be it for your career, your plan for the day or even what your heart is telling you to tweet about and write in your blog, GO FOR IT!

I like my job but I don’t see myself retiring to it. I have ups & down here and there with regards to it but I get by. But after crying a lot because of it I have decided to do it as long as I’m okay and the minute I’m not I will walk out. If I was asked yesterday if this is a possibility I’ll say no because I still have a lot of responsibility and I cannot lose this job yet but hell, I will find a new one. It may not be something as high paying but it’ll be something I love and loves me back.

I want to have a massage when I arrive in Manila, I’ll go I will not feel guilty about it anymore (this is a different story reserved for later). And if I want to tweet that you, yes you, are a fool not to talk to me, your one true friend who cares for you and actually loves you then I will (or maybe I already did).

We live in a world of uncertainties, I could be dead in a few days or while aboard this plane (knock on wood), we’ll never know. So it is okay to loosen up, let down some guard, remove the tight hair bun and let the wind blew it. It’s okay to cry, be depressed but at least talk to a friend. It is okay to be a cynic but don’t make it a living. It is okay to cry, it is okay to laugh, it is okay to let go. It is okay to open up, hit the ground but get up. It is okay to be disappointed, but don’t give up. It is okay to rely on someone, it won’t make you less of a independent person that you already are. It is okay to be turned down, you can try the second up to gazillionth time. It is okay to fail, the world won’t end because of it. There’s a time and place for everything.

My hubby and I would talk about it most of the time, how we’re not in a rush to start a family but it would be a bonus if we get one early on our marriage. How every period feels like a miscarriage but we console ourselves with the fact that the big guy up there still would want us to go to Europe first and have fun. We talked about how I really miss my best friends. He said absence makes the heart grow fonder and because I love them I let them use their wings to fly. We talked about me being a control freak. And it make sense, it took Matt Damon to make me remove my bun and helmet in the form of denial.

Today as I write this on the very flight that would bring me back to reality I made a decision, that upon ground arrival I will be the coolest version of me. I will let loose, I will let go, I will love more and I will live my life because a great man gave up his for me – for all of us. He took my cross from me so there is no reason to feel a heavy load.

Today, I will not feel guilty or be thrifty with the way I live. Today I will be happy no matter what. I will be more accepting, more understanding, more forgiving.

This is the day I am reborn.

Make this holy week holiday a time for reflection. Rest, lift it up to God and free your mind.