Intoduction: Let's envade 2 people's privacy & read what is on their minds through the emails they sent one another. Worth sharing, few lines are really mushy, explanations makes no sense, on times deliriously hilarious....for those whose hearts were touched just holler.
I know you've heard that compliment all your life, but i'm quite sure this is the first time you had it in lousy Italian. :)
Sensya na ngayon lang ko reply. attend ako seminar. boring nga halos tinulugan ko lang...
Chances are, I'd already be in London by the time you get to Italy. And probably you'd still have that Youngblood book from L. Can we meet halfway, so I could get that book? Paris perhaps? hehehe.
Being your Ben is one of the most wonderful things that could ever happen to a guy. I'm just trying not to overreact. hehe. Sensya na kung masyado ako mausisa tungkol dito. I'm just searching for reasons why you made that choice. Di ko lang matanggap, napakaimposible. If I were you, I would'nt pick me! Anyway, salamat! Kung sinabi mo to noon, baka 1 month akong tulala. hahaha!
Alam mo, madami ding guys who consider you as their "Ben", without them knowing it, of course. Ano pakiramdam? :)
Re love... kahit na ubusin natin panahon natin kakaisip tungkol dito, in the end we would realize that love is meant to be felt, not analyzed. And i'm pretty sure (you're pretty, I'm sure :) that deep in your heart you believe this too.
(some lines deleted), ipinaubaya ko na ang bayan natin kay da king. :) ikaw, sino binoto mo?
napanood mo ba yung video kay Berg, yung sa Iraq? Grabe. Kawawa naman sya. Di para sa mahina sikmura.
Bout the book, nagbago na isip ko, I might get lost in Paris e, kunin ko na lang sayo. :) Pero kung mas convenient sayo na ibigay na lang kay L2, ikaw bahala. Parang hiya nga rin ako pakita sayo, mukha akong Iraqi insurgent. hehe.
Cge. I hope you'll have a fruitful week ahead.
Ingat din. :)
From: Carrie [SMTP: @hotmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, May 11, 2004 9:43 AM
Subject: RE: Ben & Carrie
Let's start from the bottom: La Juana e' bella .... my :) thank you eventhough this is not what you really mean hehehe. Bella is the Italian for beautiful..bello for handsome. Also you don't have to use "La" article yun eh for "The". I'm trying to learn Italian kase one day someday I want to go to Florence :) hahaha aga ng preparation ko. Tried my luck with Quenya pero hirap ng Elvish language eh kaya Italian na lang muna, as if I can go to Rivendel or wherever Elves are.
Being Ben is not really all about love. Your Ben can be your Dad, as I have mentioned it doesn't mean na you're in good terms with this person, pwedeng kaaway mo or someone from TV. It's a wide array of possibilities but that person is indeed influential in your life. You can not tell me that you're not my Ben cos' you haven't been there with me all my life. It's my choice & I'll decide who my Ben at this moment should be. I'm not trying to complicate your oh so beautiful life, I'm just pointing out that I am thankful for your existence in my life cos' I was able to realized a lot of things, end of story for you & my own story to continue, gets? I can say our treatment of thinking about life & love for that matter is totally the opposite. While you linger on your solitude to find peace & the so called "clarity" (which as you say will be all gone by the time you are sober) I find enlightenment when I discuss things with friends. Two heads are always better than one :), I have this core group that tackles life's special meaning (oy di to cult, just a bunch of friends which I call my support group). We disect things & it has always been fun cos' all our ideas varies talaga. I don't know I just enjoy being with them, talking, discussing, even arguing with them. Having them aroun is better than having a bf, yun nga lang not everybody thinks that way anymore, isa isa nang nagkaka Bf, we still hang out ngayon nga mas madami na cos' the bfs/gfs are kasama na but then when you're inlove minsan nabubulagan talaga...everything around you is flowery & magical kaya mas nagiging heated arguments namin... inlove vs. the miserable hehehe.
True love & one true love, speaks for itself...shouts the difference. All were designed by God, even the heartaches & pain & shame & gain & loss & grief...everything. And I am so sure that God knows what He is doing when He did all of those things to man. God will not allow someone to spend his /her life in misery, it's not God's way it is man's. Challenges are there to challenge, the same way that troubles are to there to cause trouble. Now it has never been in God's agenda to see people cry or feel bad but if it's for the greater good then He let it happen. It happens & those involve should do something about it, actually the solution is just there God just want people to open their eyes & to listen to their hearts more.
Whatever, this is so mushy ek ek, not my real style. Anyway, bumoto ka ba? I hope you voted for the conscientious choice. Nga pala L was mentioning some Young blood books that she'll give back to you daw. Pano yun? Bigay ko na lang kay L2? The books weren't with me yet. I'll just let you know once they are. Have a great day!
----Original Message Follows----
From: "Ben" < @____.com>
To: "Carrie" <@hotmail.com>
Subject: RE: Ben & Carrie D
Date: Fri, 7 May 2004 19:57:11 +0800
just kidding. of course i know you wont bail out of a conversation that way. not your style. hehe. i was just too eager to know what ben theory is all about. though i havent visited that felicity site yet (problem with our internet server), i think you've adequately explained it to me.
i apologize for not replying sooner, i had to revert to my "emotional settings" from 4 years ago para i'd be able to fully understand what you wrote, and maybe contribute something meaningful...
hirap naman pala maging ben. sana naman kung ano man naidulot ko sayo, e mabuti naman. pero alam mo, have you ever tried na kontrahin sarili mo? i mean yung you totally ignore yung lahat ng thoughts bout 'Ben'. minsan kasi this has nothing to do with the person, nagkataon lang na sya yung nandun nung time na you're experiencing something that's important to you. hindi sya influential sa buong pagkatao mo, but just to a certain aspect of it na in turn e masyado malaki epekto sa buhay mo.
i was once like you, always thinking about "love". i became so engrossed with the idea that some people begin to say i'm weird. i guess its just normal for us, from time to time, to be "in love" not with any person in particular, but with the concept of love itself. i'm not saying that i dont give much damn about it (galing ba to sa kanta?) these days, its just that i spend less time being alone now. solitude breeds this kind of thoughts (we'll, solitude plus a bottle of beer and you'll have more of these thoughts. the more beer you drink, the more enlightened you seem to become. the problem is, all these insights vanish the moment you become sober :). sa case ko lang to ha, i'm not saying na baka ganun din sa case mo. baka awayin mo ko. takot ko lang. hehehe
the butanding analogy is quite true. but then its just an observation. hindi sya enough para masatisfy nya yung craving for an explanation of someone like you. i bet upon hearing it from your friend M, e yung pumasok agad sa isip mo is one big "WHY?". complicated nga to, attempt akong mag-explain sa susunod.
Re the two choices... sa number 1 ako. la lang, gusto ko lang mag-disagree para may argument. hehe joke lang. yung view ko kasi is that true love is a gift from God. ala ng ibang source. and kung what you mean by 'true love' here is embodied in a certain person, pano na yung mga mabubuting tao na yung true love nila e pumanaw na? i dont think God would be so cruel to let them experience it for some time and then let them spend the rest of their life in misery.
o cge, sa susunod uli. mahirap magpaliwanag e. kung sayo intellectually stimulating lang to, sa kin pahirapan na. hehehe.
La (deleted) e' bella (_____is full of life). tama ba? di ko alam to e. italian ba to? hahaha
From: Carrie [SMTP: @hotmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, May 04, 2004 1:09 PM
To: Ben S
Subject: Ben & Carrie
BEN THEORY Gist on the show Felicity: Felicity & Ben are classmates way back in HS & sobrang like ni F si B as in… Then nung malapit na graduation, F asked B to write something on her yearbook. So here's the link for the info on what the story really is: http://www.felicitypage.com/episode1.html
Ok? Then yung story it evolves around F nung college na sya, ups & downs of life & B is always there kaya naform yung thinking na in your life as a person, you always have that somebody that occupies a space in you (not just heart not just mind - you) & have helped you be what you are now. It doesn‘t necessarily mean na you' re in good terms with this person, close kayo or what but then influential sya sa buhay mo. You were asking if it' s true love, well in my opinion not really. You have something special for this person, you' re not sure if it' s love, true love, plain love but then he/she's important. Pretty complicated & unexplainable basta in your life you have a Ben, the person you do outrageous things for - alam man nya o hindi. The person that affects you the most -happiness man or wrath nafefeel mo towards this person. I'm not really making any sense but I guess I pointed out the things I wanted to tell. Basta yun yun. :) This is how the term "I have my Ben too" came into existence.
SEX and the CITY How many true love can one have in their life
ANSWERS: 1. at least one (I guess you're lucky) & 2. one IF YOU'RE LUCKY
My vote is for #2, not because I'm a pessimistic bitch but because it's how I view “love”. Sabi ni M, the friend of mine who went with me sa B, love daw is like a butanding... when you look for it iwas ng iwas ayaw pakita at ang ilap but then pag pagod ka na kakahabol & you've finally given up dadating & ididisplay sarili nya sayo. I'm not sure if it’s just to spite you or inspire you. Complicated, well life is so full of complications. Eto muna for now, I am still collecting my weird ideas & iprepresent ko sayo don't worry. Ganito ako, I make the mababaw stuffs seems so intellectually stimulating hehehe yung tipong kailang ng research & study talaga. La vita e' bella (life is beautiful) - you are loved always :)