you love me but... & others

you love me but...

i have liked this song for sometime now, i am sharing the lyrics just incase others are interested (as if there are people who read this):

one more kiss could be the best thing one more lie could be the worst and all these thoughts are never resting and you're not something i deserve in my head there's only you now this world falls on me in this world, there's real and make believe this seems real to me you love me, but you dont know who i am i'm torn between this life i lead and where i stand you love me, but you don't know who i am so let me go let me go i dream we head to what i hope for and i turn my back on loving you how could this love be a good thing when i know what i'm going through in my head there's only you now this world falls on me in this world, there's real and make believe this seems real to me you love me, but you dont know who i am i'm torn between this life i lead and where i stand you love me, but you dont know who i am so let me go, just let me go no matter how hard i try i cant escape these things inside i know, i know but all the pieces fall apart you will be the only one who knows who knows you love me, but you dont know who i am i'm torn between this life i lead and where i stand, you love me, but you don't know who i am so let me go just let me go you love me, but you dont you love me, but you dont you love me, but you dont know who i am you love me, but you dont you love me, but you dont you love me, but you dont know me...

segue

I didn’t realize that things could go from bad to worse on days that you least expect it. From bad news to worse news then worst news of all.

I grew up with my pamangkins. I was six when my eldest niece was born. I was in grade 5 when she started school, we practically bonded all our lives. When I graduated from college, she started hers. We like the same tv shows, same movies, some music (not all), same clothes (& accessories cos she uses mine ALL THE TIME, on most cases she gets the scolding hehehe). But now, her left eye could go blind. At a very young age she used to complain about her left eye saying it’s all blurry when she use it and stuff but she doesn’t make a big deal out of it & everyone in the family does the same. It was ignored until the last time when she told me that she dread the summer cos it makes her eyes all puffy & dry. I told her she might need an eyeglass to protect her from the dust. I took her to an optometrist for the glasses stuff and that is when the doctor said that there is something wrong with her left eye, it is best that an ophthalmologist look at it. I dunno but when something like this happen my tear ducts loses their control & cannot hold back their mist. I am such a crybaby and it made me really sad. After some tests they said she might undergo an eye operation.

It seems like one by one sickness (in various disguises) attack the people I love even myself included. My best friend is suffering from ulcer in Cambodia, my Mom’s thyroid glands is under observation while my blood clots all the time or if it doesn’t its like water, my favorite nephew nose’s bleed when he has fever or colds. And now my niece… she could go blind at such a young age.

And in times like this, when you feel that someone has been so cruel at you the person you would like to run to abandons you. It is really sad but that’s the way things already are. I couldn’t be more grateful for my family and friends, they stick with me when others don’t. This is the cue for the next segue. My shout outs to the people who have been there hanging on with me... (to be continued)