Edge of No Reason

I have always wanted to write something of substance lately but I guess I was too busy to extract my creative juices (read: if I have). I have been battling between writing my witty thoughts on my jeepney scenes (tumpak! Eksena nga sa jeepney) as well as my sentimental graying & decaying days & mind hehehe.

I am the oldest 26 years old I know (alright I’m guilty! I stole Dorothy Boyd’s line on Renee’s most memorable Jerry Maguire days but I am serious!!! I am the oldest 26 years old I know). I’m not sure if it’s the weather, the song, the artist, the TV show or if it’s just really me – old & sentimental (I guess it’s the last option). I hate to admit this but I cried while watching last week’s American Idol elimination night. Aside from Ace’s dismissal (huhuhu, he could have aced this week’s theme – Andrea Boccelli, with his high notes & falsettos, hmpf!) I just found myself crying when Rod Stewart started singing “The Way You Look Tonight” (huwaaaah). My Bestfriend’s Wedding theme song and I guess I was sort of seeing my story in the nearness of it. I could end up having the deal of marrying the best guy friend I could have but as early as today I know that the girl of his dreams may swiftly pass him by while I have my eyes on wedding gowns, hehehe I am acting crazy again. I just love old songs. Reminds me of my Dad (yep he’s old that’s a fact and with the more years that passes by the sadder I become when I think of this inevitable happening). I always dream of dancing with my Pop on my wedding day to the tune of “Someone to Watch Over Me” or “You Look Wonderful Tonight” (the classic version by Eric Clapton) then my groom will dance with me afterwards to old tune of “The Way You Look Tonight” and “That’s All”. I guess I was feeling all goofed up and silly over these songs cos they make me realize that I don’t have a groom.

And now, I’m no longer in the mood to write about my Eksena sa Jeepney stints. I guess I’m a little under the weather (and it’s all in the mind I know), can’t even get myself to write about my baby sitting weekend (yep I baby sat 3 monsters!!!), I have pictures pa naman to share. Another sigh, alright I’ll stop here, I hope I could write tonight.

I need a comfort goody, dapat wag food, hmmm ano kaya? A book? Wag na I might purchase another gruesome depressing book like the last batch I purchased. A CD? Hmmm not bad pero pano kung mapurchase ko yung The Best of Bread or Best of Boyz II Men or Celine Dion (ALL BY MYSELF) or worse Best of Air Supply? Huwaaaaaaaah I can now hear “I’m All Out of Love” and song na may line na “Just when I thought I was over you, just when I thought I could stand on my own… and so on”. Sheesh, I totally lost it, bye na nga. Arghh!

Repeat this line Joan: I am not Bridget Jones! I am not Bridget Jones nor am I gonna turn into one, if by unavoidable circumstances I eventually turned into a seemingly Ms. Jones, I will make sure I find my Mark Darcy. Amen.