Wednesday, October 11, 2006


But I am, been like this after my birthday. Milenyo came & conquered… billboards fell, trees uprooted, Jen’s house embraced by a Narra tree and I took luxurious baths for a week – hell yeah – with Mineral water.

Oldies cried… calling the event the wrath of God. I stayed home for most nights contemplating on what happened to everybody while staring on a dimly lit candle nearby. I missed my TV, I missed the radio. I missed the mall and all the things that made my shallow life shallower (read: I was really into watching a movie on the actual stormy day too bad the malls were closed). I don’t care about what would happen to me, I just need to close the giant gate!!! Yes, the garage gate of my house went loose and I need to close the thick iron while the angry winds are blowing it. My Mom shouting in the background afraid for my life (other than the flying steels, a single whack & tap of that gate can make me sleep forever). It was crazy and even after the storm it went wild…

My life, well wild with work, wild with frustrations and wild with even more work & other things related to it. I am now a private investigator, I am now a planner, I am now a show producer… hell I didn’t asked to be one. All I want was to be able to see Leo after a long time! And what? Look at me I don’t think I’ll be able to see him on a wide screen, I think I will be with him by the sofa (by the way thanks Momsie for the recliner’s partner, muah!). I’m a mess.

Even JET said my life is really one hell of a busy ride, he can’t get dinner reservations except if asked a week in advance. I can’t chat that long, I can’t email friends & Kuya Berns. Good friends are now leaving the country and all I was able to give was one lousy phone call to wish them a pathetic “ingat”. WTF, what is happening to me? I lay in shambles waiting for deterioration to come. Our trip is in 2 weeks, am I excited? Of course I am but I can’t fully enjoy the sweetness of my excitement because I still have a case to investigate (projects to do, campaigns to accomplish), I still need to please somebody for a nod & a “job well done” remark. My motto to do what I like best & to enjoy work as if it’s a hobby is not essential anymore. I am feeling unfulfilled, a mid (late) 20’s career person without directions.

Can I have my vacation now? Please????

I'm sorry, I just feel crappy. *sigh*

The art of positive thinking... tomorrow's my fave day, yipee Thursday! Yes alright, shut up Dr. Phil!!! Prozac please!

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